Hahaa!! I jus did my laundry~ And this was wat my room became!! My dear roomies, if you see this, please dun get shocked!! Hahaha!! I will make sure its all neat and tidy by the time u guys return on sunday nite! Haha!!! Reminds me of this detergent advertisement where two sailors brought their submarine up to hang dry their clothes and ended up getting bombed~ Haha!!
Opps!!
The day started quite fun~ My sis came to play tennis with me in school~ Althou she and her bf are both newbies, they play quite well ba~ Haha!
Anyway, the scary part comes after fun of coz~ First BIG Pess comm meeting... For handover from 6th comm to 7th comm (us). Anyway, i realised suddenly that there are really ALOT to do~ Finance is not a small thing~ Haha! This is bad coz this sem actually have a lot of things to do... lots of projects, work, test and exams are also coming~! So scary~
I hope i can be manage and do well still~ I'm never really good at time management becoz i'm simply a procrastinator, putting everything to the last minute before doing anything~ So that is bad. Haha!
Anyway, I need to really put in more effort and this will definitely help distract me from other things in life~ Are we ready to put in 150% effort into Pess Comm? I know i'm not but i'll TRY! Hahaa!!
Gambatte People~
So lessons are over, and i'm at the com lab again, waiting for the time to pass till 6.30pm so i can go for my dance club session~ Today is slightly different, coz i have my trusty psp and mp3 player with my fav games and songs! Haha! When i started listening to the songs, i suddenly felt the urge to SING! yes... Sing... So i search the internet for a good lyrics website. And the first song i searched for was "Over You", by Chris Daughtry~ I was listening to the song blindly previously but i was surprised at the lyrics. So similar to what happened to me. That's y i decided to quickly blog and post this up~ Haha!!
Here's the Vid and the lyrics is below~!
Chris Daughtry - Over You
Now that it's all said and done,
I can't believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down,
Like an old abandoned house.
What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath.
I fell too far, was in way too deep.
Guess I let you get the best of me.
Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.
You took a hammer to these walls,
Dragged the memories down the hall,
Packed your bags and walked away.
There was nothing I could say.
And when you slammed the front door shut,
A lot of others opened up,
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for me.
Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.
Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
Well I'm putting my heart back together,
'Cause I got over you.
Well I got over you.
I got over you.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.
*Breathe out slowly*
Dance Class was quite fun today~ the instructor, Carol, was very nice~! I like the way we are going and so i'm happy~
Went to jog with my roomie, supposed to do 10 rounds of the track, but ended up doing only 6... Guess my body was really too tired~ Haha!!
Alright, i'm now going to continue watching a korean movie, "Seducing Mr Perfect", and i'm going to finish some work and study~ I hope i can "walk the talk!!"
Ikimasu!!
Yesterday i ended school at 3.30pm~ Went to the library to do some research (I'm hardworking ok...) and went to westmall to meet nik at 7.30pm~ I was ON THE DOT~ almost late, but No... I wasn't~ Hahah!!
Anyway, we had dinner at pastamania and followed by pool and bowling... Pool was irritating becoz i can't seem to put the balls into the pockets... So many balls missed the pocket by a little! So yeah, i was mainly irritated by my performance ba~ I'm not a sore loser ok~ Haha!
Bowling was even MORE irritating... Mainly becoz of my performance again~ My best game was onli 113! So low lor~ Hahaa~! I think my mood affected nik a little~ but we are both ok le!
After bowling, i went back to hall by bus 174 which stopped at boonlay MRT. by the time i reached the interchange, it was already 12.30am~ So my last bus into hall was long gone already~ Anyway, i expected that already and decided to walk back to hall~ I expected that the walk will take me 30min at max~ BUT it was 1 whole HOUR~! hahahaa!! But it was a good walk... MP3 with my fav songs and singing aloud becoz no one would be around at that time~! Hahaaa!!
Today was my first PESS Comm meeting. The bunch of ppl look pretty familiar to me~ Maybe becoz i was OGL of their FOC~ Plus, i worked with several of them on NIE Biathlon too~ So the feeling was that bad~ But i was so slpy after that. Seems like 6 hours of slp also not enough~ Haha! I need SLP! Lots of them! Haha~ 4 hours lessons straight after the meeting and by the time i was done, i almost died of hunger!
So now, here i am in the com lab, trying to do work but ended up blogging when i decided to nap a little before my dance class. I joined a hip hop dance class~ Hope its FUN~ hee~
Later i'll probably go for a jog and start doing some work~ Seems like i'm lagging behind in my assignments and this is very bad for my "health"~ Haha!! So TIRED!
Tml will just be another day of "chionging"
Hate rainy weather... Jus feels lethargic and sleepy~ Tennis lesson is cancelled thanks to the rain too~ And so i'm not getting my daily dose of activity~ Haha! So what can we do? Slack lor~ Didn't bring anything to study for also~ Intended to continue playing after lesson ended~ So didn't expect to have so much time to waste~ Haha! Should have brought my PSP or something~ Haha!!
I should just shall just immerse myself in the blogging culture ba~ Haha!
Sleepy!!
Today's maths test was horrible!! Its more of my own fault actually~ Coz i onli studied for about 5 hours max and i couldn't remember much of the contents~ But the paper is ridiculous lah~
"state a specific example on how to teach a mathematical concept using C-P-A?" [1m]
I mean, this type of question deserve at least 3 marks lah! And its not jus this question, most of the questions are 1 mark questions that require u to write quite a bit lor~ Arrgh~ Anyway... Even thou i'm pissed, there is nothing i can do except work harder on the lesson plan and be prepared to get a lower overall grade le lor~ Hiaz...
And tennis? I lost my first singles match and proceeded to the loser's bracket. Hopefully i will win tml so that i can advance a little bit more~ Haha!
After everything, when i reached hall, belle was going out already~ She wanted to jog to IMM from hall~! Since she asked me to go too, so i left my dinner on the table and went with her!! All i had was my namecard holder with my cards and my phone! We jogged all the way from hall to Jurong point, and followed the MRT track all the way to IMM at Jurong East~! Haha~! We took about 1.5 hours in total and was drenched with perspiration once we are there! Haha~ We bought wat we need from Giant and came back by train and bus. (We missed the last shuttle~)
It was a great and relaxing jog~ I'm happy and proud of myself and belle! Haha~ And one last thing. My weight is now 46.8kg~! Super happy lah~ Hahahaa!!
Jiayou~! I can do it~!
The day started at 5.30am where we woke up to prepare to go Raffles Place, Republic Plaza where National Vertical Marathon was held. Beka's bf, Andy, was taking part in Men's Open. We reached at 6.30am sharp and was the first few to register. His tag number was 0024~
Anyway, to keep the long story short, he enjoyed the climb and wans to do it again~ That's the most important thing~ Haha! His timing was 16.27min and was probably due to the fact that he started 2 details after he was supposed to start. He went to the toilet becoz the official said ok.... But his photo was chosen to be in Straits Time tml~! Hahaha!!
After that, we went for mac breakfast at singapore river that area. The atmosphere was quite good, other den seeing a few trans hanging around mac, so early in the morning~ Haha! After breakfast, we went back to my aunty's place and napped till about 3pm~ We went House hunting after that~ We saw a place that we kinda liked, but its 505k~ It was quite overpriced, but its the norm now... We will probably look around somemore next week~
Now? I have to STUDY for a maths test tml... Which i haven started at all btw.... Shame on me! I know~ But i'm a master of procrastination~! Haha!! Ok Ok~ better start now!
NVM~ something i'll never do~!
So i was irritated on friday nite~ And i slept quite early too~ but when a call woke me up today. It was nik... At the same time, i was having a very bad cramp on my left calf~ Couldn't move... And the most irritating part? Somebody was happily knocking on my door! I told nik i'll call him back and tried to ease the cramp while ignoring the person at the door... I tote it was someone doing survey or something... The person was quite persistent~! So i opened the door lor~ Guess wat? It was nik, standing at the door... I was SHOCKED and SURPRISED~! Hahaa! Anyway, we slacked around a little and went to JP for brunch and movie~
Never knew that Fish n Co had very nice new york fish and chips which was not on the menu~ I had seafood platter which obviously i couldn't finish~ Haha! We slacked around a little bit more and settled at coffee bean where we played capcom puzzle fighter (multiplayer). I won ALL the games btw~ Wahahahaa!! Luckily he wasn't a sore loser~ Haha!
Death Note 3 was good~ I liked the show~ Its less complicated as compared to the previous 2 shows~ L. was hilarious!! Was laughing most of the time, just watching L's actions~ HAha!! The image of L. typing on the keyboard jus floated into my mind~ Haha!!
Anyway, after that he sent me to my aunty's place where i told them about me and adrian over dinner. Somehow, they knew that this was coming already~ And we started looking for alternative arrangements. I can't possibly stay with adrian's family forever rite? Even thou i wan to somehow~ So.... talk about buying a HDB flat came into play~ But thats still up to my aunt anyway, and she is the troublesome one~
Cool Saturday~
I'm a very easily irritated person~ I get irritated when i dunno wats ahead.. I dun like the feeling of unknowns... I need to know what time and where... So i can plan my day appropriately~ Like what my aunty always do to me.
Me: Aunty, what time are we meeting?
Her: I'm not sure yet. I got things to do. I'll pick u up once i'm done...
Me: At least give me a time lah~ So i can plan and do other stuffs while waiting...
Her: I'll call u again lah~
Me: Jus a rough gauge onli mah~
Her: I'll call u again lor~ Once i'm done i'll call u...
Me: Aiyah~ Forget it lah~ Not meeting you liao...
That is what i'll do... Dunno y, i jus dun like not knowing what i'm supposed to do... She can't really expect me to just sit here and do nothing while waiting for her rite? If i start doing something and she suddenly call and say "Let's Go!", i'll also get very irritated one... Hiaz...
So hope you understand why i cancelled on our date when i didn't receive any reply for 1 hour and 37 min...
Muz learn to give and take~ Haha!
Okay~ I'm finally done with my essay~ So i can sit down and really blog about the trip. Its going to be LOOONG... So bear with it yeah? Hahaa!!
(Monday) Day 1:
There are 27 people going on this trip and 9 is in the group that i'm in. Its made up of 4 ladies and 5 men. Mixed nationalities~ So anyway, the 9 of us met up at jurong point NTUC at about 7.30pm to go shopping for our breakfast and mobile lunches. We bought many things including bread, nutella, sausages, fish luncheon, biscuits and drinks~! After that we went to meet the rest of the team at Kranji MRT where we took 170 to Larkin Interchange in JB. At Larkin, we had Macdonalds for supper and waited till 12.30am for the bus to KL~
(Tuesday) Day 2:
We slept most of the way to KL and when we reached, it was only about 5am~! the guide would arrive only at 6.30am. So we had our breakfast at this shop next to where we dropped off. Pratas!!! Okay, anyway, the guide can and we board this "maxi" cab! I forgot to take pictures of the vehicles but its like a mpv, family car. We had 7 girls squeezing at the back of the vehicle when its supposed to only carry 5~ Haha! It was fun squeezing~! We reached Batu Caves a little too early, so we jus sat around at the entrance, waiting for the place to open. We were scolded by the people at the Indian Temple, outside the place, becoz we were too loud~ Haha!!
The initial part of Batu Caving was kinda boring as it was the "educational" part, talking about the different rocks and minerals etc etc... There was this part where we were all jumping around becoz there was so many cockroaches on the floor! I was one of them jumping around~ Can't imagine having them crawl up my leg! I was one of the first to get poo-ed on by the bats~! There were so many flying around above us and i was the unlucky one~ Haha! After the educational part, we went on to the ADVENTURE CAVING part. We had to crawl and wriggle thru very tight places where the space was only enough for the helmet to go through. Its amazing how the guide got thru~! It was a nice experience overall~ except the last part where we had to walk through either a puddle of muddy water or sticky mud~ Haha!
After caving, we had to wash up in order to board the cabs and the toilet guard didn't allow us to wash up OUTSIDE the toilet and insisted that we pay the 1RM to bathe~! Haha! It was quite funny if the guy wasn't so rude. I'm sure 1RM is not a problem for all of us. We were just annoyed with his attitude~ Haha! After washing up and mobile lunching, we went on to the next part of the trip, NATURAL ROCK WALL CLIMBING~
I managed to climb 3 different routes and one of them was 6A level in difficulty (whatever that means~) Haha!! It was really an achievement for me and i feel that natural rock wall was so much more easier then the indoor ones we have in singapore becoz all the holes and cracks can be used as finger and foot holds~! I wanted to do abseiling down the wall, but it took too much time jus to queue for my turn. So i gave up and went for my 3rd and final climb instead~ Oh ya! And i was poo-ed on the 2nd time here... This time its bird poo! Lucky~! Wahahaa!!
After climbing, we went for dinner at this place where we ordered fried rice, fried mee and horfun etc etc. It was only 4.50RM. But we were stupid enough to order another plate of sweet and sour pork that cost us 15RM~! Hahaha!!
After dinner, we went to our dorms which was actually an education centre with all the posters, pictures and even those preserved insects, amphibians and reptiles! Urrgh~ The rooms was pathetic, the toilet was worse! But for the price we paid, we can't complain much~ We were happily playing cards and singing songs until this people came and lecture us about nature, rules and regulations. Imagine, lights out at 11.45pm~! Haha! So we had no choice but to slp early. Me Eileen and Rachel shared 2 beds, but by the time we woke up, Me and Eileen had to squeeze into 1 bed already~! Haha!
(Wednesday) Day 3:
We woke up at 7am, washed up, had our breakfast and went to the last place. CANYONING! Also known as ABSEILING down a WATERFALL!! Before we reach the abseiling site, we had to track upwards for about 10 to 15min with all our bags and stuffs. It was not easy, and some parts was a little slippery, but it was still easier then the one we did for PE Residential Camp~ Anyway, when we reached the place, we decided to let the others abseil first while we took a dip in the cold water~ Luckily my camera was waterproofed, so i could take pictures from under the waterfall~ Haha!
Abseiling was FUN! Seriously fun~! Started with the easy route and was shivering like crazy while i was hooked up. I tink it muz be the cold water~ Haha!! (Not the fear ok??) Haha!! I was still shivering the 2nd time round, this time its really due to the cold water~ Haha! Imagine this, while i abseil down the slippery rocks, gushing water is flowing down and hitting my helmet so hard that it sounded like thunder cracking! Haha!
Trekking down was more difficult then up~ But still made it back in 1 piece~ Haha! When we reached the base, we bought the imitation ramly burger and i ta pao nasi goreng which i had for lunch today~ Haha! The rest of the trip was quite tiring and we slept through the bus journey back to larkin bus terminal. There we took 170 to the malaysia custom where we walked across the bridge to the singapore custom~! My knee was acting up but thanks to Lisi, i had an easier time~ Haha!! I shared cab with a friend and reached hall quite early, took a bath, unpacked and slept!
Thats bout all for the trip~ I'm left with the washing of my clothes and more work to be done~ Haha!!
I WANT MORE!!
Jus came back from the Odac Trip yesterday nite~ Once i reached hall, first thing i did was to upload the pictures while i catch some sleep~! I'll need my energy to do work today as i'm only left with less then 11 hours to finish a 1500 word essay on good citizen which i am still clueless as to how to start~!
Here are the photos!! I'll blog about the trip when i finish my essay ba~ Haha!! Spent quite a bit of time reorientating the photos and uploading them! Hee~ Wish me luck~!
Jiayou ba~ My mindless brain!
I did this for him on Valentines Day, but gave it to him only yesterday~ Quite nice~! It's called Ambigrams, where two names can be read in 2 different orientations...
Can you see the names?? I jus rotated the image over to show u what i meant by different orientaion. Hee.
ROSENNA.L
NICHOLAS
Ambigrams...
Just few hours left to my trip and here i am, in the comfort of my own hall, trying to write up a storm!! BUT... I'm suffering from writer's block as usual~ So until now, all i did was to create a new word document~ Haha!!
DEAD DEAD DEAD... I tink i'll have to sleep all the way back from KL on wed, then really CHIONG all the way when i'm back!!! DEAD!!
Excited.... Deadly Excited...
I'm so dead... becoz i'm slacking... and i'm still slacking even thou i know i'm dead... Haha! Before i start with why i'm dead, i shld start with why i'm excited~!
Tml i'm going to KL for a short holiday~ So wats so interesting there thats making me so excited? I'm going to get down and dirty there! STOP.... Dun let your thoughts go wild... I'm going Batu Caves! Caving, Natural Rock Climbing and Canyoning... So i'm going to be pretty dirty~ Hee! Plus... I'm going with my roomies, eileen and lisi~! That made it even more exciting!
Now come to the dead part... I'll only be back on wednesday nite, and i have an essay due on thursday nite at 11.59pm... And knowing the slacker me, i have not started any work so far~ And i'm still clueless as to what to include in my essay and how to start!! So i hereby declare that i'm DEAD... Haha!!
Oki~ Gotta log out now to travel 2 hours to school~ So i can get started with my work! Hope i can get some stuffs done before meeting the rest of the gang tml at 7.30pm~!
CHIONG AR~ (RELAK LAH...)
Okay~ Somehow, i'm now no longer single~ Hahaa! The process was really surprising~ We met up for movies, in fact, it was kinda last minute decision to meet up today~! So we went to The Cathay to buy our tickets, den we went to PS to have our dinner~ The indonesian BBQ cuisine is quite nice~ Had BBQ chicken with rice~ We went back to The Cathay to window shop but all the shops closed liao~ So we ended up taking a walk towards cityhall and back when its about time for our movie to start~ Along the way, we were talking about whether it was wierd for us to be going out together... and stuffs like guys to take the initiative to "go steady" and whether muz the relationship be officiated with a question? Haha~ I tote it was jus another conversation~
During the movies, we were sitting quite close, its a couple seat. Den quite suddenly he shifted and put his arm around me and got me to lean against him~! I was SHOCKED, but when i felt his heart pounding and him breathing quite heavily, i smiled~ He was so nervous that he was shaking~ Haha!!
After that, we strolled to city hall mrt and took a detour to get the rochor tao huay. We wanted to eat it at esplanade, but we had to catch the last train... So we ate at AMK area and missed the last bus! Haha~ So no choice lor~ So he sent me back by cab~ It was truly unexpected but i enjoyed myself~ Haha!
Always expect the unexpected!
Today is the "last" day of CNY~ And as a tradition, we were supposed to have a reunion dinner tonight. But 2 characters are missing... My uncle and my cousin~ One went outstation, One had to study for exams. So that left us with my sis and her bf, my younger cousin, aunty and her maid~ We went to Sakura @ Clementi~ Its really quite huge~ Considering 2 levels of food, lined up along one side of the walls~ Haha! The food wasn't too fantastic thou and i didn't eat too much. But still, i'm feeling very bloated even now...
After dinner, we went to my aunt's place where we slacked around, waiting for 10pm! The six of us went to Bukit Batok CSC for bowling!! It was messy... very messy at the beginning, too many bowling balls, too many games, and they were busy switching names and lookin on the score boards. We played 3 games in total and it was fun~!
Now that i'm back in hall, its time to slp~! tml muz chiong work somemore! Haha~
Bowling is wat i wan to do!
Yup~! I finished it~ a little later den expected~ but the ending was quite nice. Happy ending for everyone, jus how i would like it! Heeee~~
A little part of the show i would love to share would be the part where michi is in coma and hikaru almost turned off the life support. Luckily kinoshita came in time to pass hikaru a letter from michi~ It goes something like this... "If you are reading this letter, it means i may not be around anymore. But please do not follow me, cause if you die, you will never be able to go to the world of freedom. Freedom is written as 自由. Looking at the characters, I think the joy of living or the insistence of a will is freedom. Its meaningless if you don't live on. No matter how tough or hard it is, you need to live on. Truthfully, there is no such world of freedom. A world of freedom, is what you make with your both hands."
Isn't our hands made to touch, embrace and love our loved ones?
Started watching the Japanese Drama, Majo no Jouken~ Its actually about a forbidden love between a teacher and a high school student. The teacher is 26 years old and the boy is onli 17~! But they really love each other~ They believe that there is nothing wrong about that although the society doesn't think that way~ I feel that the story is really very sweet, but it will never happen here ba~ Oh, this show uses the song i posted before, "First Love by Utada Hikaru"! And thats y i started watching this show too!!
Anyway, after the lessons, i went to the com lab to continue on the series... Its onli 11 episodes, and intend to finish them by tonight~ The com lab was supposed to be closed by 5.30pm, but the technician didn't come to chase us out~ So i stayed on until 7.30pm, when my frisbee training starts~ Its my first training since ISG~ And i initially thought it as just a regular pickup session~ Without knowing, its actually our first IVP training~! Without knowin, i'm an IVP player liao!!! HEEEE~ The session was great and fun~! Oh, I skipped Inline Hockey training for this~ Hahah! Shhhhh....
After finishing frisbee, me and my roomie still went for a jog~ this time, we ran on the tracks instead, we decided that it is more gentle on the knees~ Haha! Our average time per round is about 3.5 min~ and we jogged for about nearing 50 min. So its safe to say we ran about 14 rounds!! That makes up to about 5.6km~! Hee~ Cool~ Hee~
Oki~ Time to continue with my jap drama and will slp after dat~ I have this weird feeling that something is going to happen tml~ So i'll just wait patiently for that occurance ba~ Hee~
Isn't our feet made so that we can march forward?
According to my friend, this song was introduced to us during our jap class and we sang in class? Haha~ I can't really remember that~ Maybe i'm really becoming Little Miss Forgetful le~ Haha!
Anyway, this is another song that reflects how i feel~ If you wanna watch and sing and read the translation at the same time, you can view this clip instead~
Original / Romaji Lyrics
Saigo no kisu wa
Tabako no flavor ga shita
Nigakute setsunai kaori
Ashita no imagoro ni wa
Anata wa doko ni iru n' darou
Dare wo omotte 'ru n' darou
You are always gonna be my love
Itsu ka dare ka to mata koi ni ochite mo
I'll remember to love
You taught me how
You are always gonna be the one
Ima wa mada kanashii love song
Atarashii uta utaeru made
Tachidomaru jikan ga
Ugoki-dasou to shite 'ru
Wasuretaku nai koto bakari
Ashita no imagoro ni wa
Watashi wa kitto naite 'ru
Anata wo omotte 'ru n' darou
You will always be inside my heart
Itsu mo anata dake no basho ga aru kara
I hope that I have a place in your heart too
Now and forever you are still the one
Ima wa mada kanashii love song
Atarashii uta utaeru made
You are always gonna be my love
Itsu ka dare ka to mata koi ni ochite mo
I'll remember to love
You taught me how
You are always gonna be the one
Mada kanashii love song
Now and forever...
English Translation
the last kiss
tasted like tobacco
a bitter and sad smell
tomorrow, at this time
where will you be?
who will you be thinking about?
you are always gonna be my love
even if I fall in love with someone once again
I'll remember to love
you taught me how
you are always gonna be the one
it's still a sad song
until I can sing a new song
the paused time is
about to start moving
there's many things that I don't want to forget about
tomorrow, at this time
I will probably be crying
I will probably be thinking about you
you will always be inside my heart
you will always have your own place
I hope that I have a place in your heart too
now and forever you are still the one
it's still a sad song
until I can sing a new song
you are always gonna be my love
even if I fall in love with someone once again
I'll remember to love
you taught me how
you are always gonna be the one
it's still a sad song
until I can sing a new song
Brings Back Memories...
My tennis class has odd number of ppl, so we are short of 1 person for doubles team. So our lecturer has to join us as a player~ To be fair, we decided to draw lots. Some of the pairs are very cute together. Meaning, very coincidental. Like for example, Jeremy and Eileen, Jac and Amanda, Lap Yin and Ruo Ying, Jenn Yang and Darron~ Haha!! Its like they are always practicing together, and somehow they ended up as partners~ Draw Lots leh~
Haha! Anyway, I drew the number 4 and was waiting for my partner and guess what? It turns out to be our lecturer!! Haha!! But that somehow made me kinda stressed, coz if we win, it will be becoz he is playing and if we lose, it will be becoz i played badly... So... I have to step up and try to win some points... Tml we will be playing for top 2 position already~ So fast~! So Scary~ Against Jenn Yang and Darron~ Kinda scary opponents coz they are really good!
I have another presentation tml too~ 5 min teaching~ Hope i'm prepared enough! Hee~ After this presentation, i'm left with an essay to complete and i'm ready for my msia trip!
FUN comes after HARDWORK~
Jus finished building this finally. I bought this quite some time ago for him. Wanted to build it together with him but we just couldn't find the time to do it. So since we are no longer together, i built it for him. Its kinda like an unfinished present ba~ I still got a few more boxes, but i tink this will be the last for him... If i ever want to build anymore, it will be for myself~ Anyway, he saw it and commented that it looks nice! I'm happy coz he talked and smiled at me. But its different now. Its polite. Purely friends. I saw their photos together, and they really did looked happy together. So i'm happy for him i guess.
Anyway, here are some pics of my masterpiece. Wanted to outline it, but i'm just too lazy! Haha! Oh, this one is quite cool, the joints are super movable and the weapon can be adjusted to fit onto other parts. Really cool~
Moving on...
This scene was from moulin rouge where the christian found out that satine has to give up her body to the duke~ And christian sings to express his sorrows.... Althou the story is very different from mine, but the lyrics that christian sang, fully represents what i felt last night...'
"Why does my heart cry... feelings... I can’t fight... You’re free to leave me... Just don’t deceive me... And please believe me... When I say... I love you..."
But i'm determined to walk out and away from that~! Give me strength~!
Jiayou Ba!
"Attendance" for today, in order of appearance: Me! Sheryl, Nuriah, Hakim, Shy, Mich and gf, Alvin and finally Becky. We ate LJS and KFC, topshell and fruit salad~ Nice Combination of food~! Haha! Den we played this game called "Something Samy" I anyhow named the game coz i dunnoo wat's the real name~ Its quite a cool game that's kinda confusing~ Anyway, the person that makes a mistake, drinks~ Haha!
We wanted to play cards, black jack and all... BUT we decided to watch the soccer match between ManU and Arsenal~ 4-0~! And the goals were scored beautifully~! Hahahaa!!
After the match, every one took turns to draw on Becky's leg. We signed our names and wrote messages. Funny thing was, she didn't felt it at all~! haha! After that, we woke her up and went back le. Luckily my cousin came to fetch me, so i'm at my aunty's house now~ haha!
Cool Day~!
Looks like i have over estimated my strength... Its painful. It really is...
Its 5am now. So early in the morning and i'm still awake. I couldn't slp. So i went to the kitchen to make myself a warm cup of milo... I barely made it to the kitchen, i turned back and went back to the room...
I walked past his door, hearing the music blasting out through the walls, looking at the darkness that seems to be pouring out from the gap under the door... I thought back to how i had to sleep through the noise and how i would irritate him to lower the volume so that i could slp. Now i sleep in this room, with all the silence i could get, and here i am, hoping that i could slp in that noisy room~
I can never look at his room again. knowing that this girl probably sat in what used to be my chair, slept in what used to be my side of the bed, beside the guy who used to be mine. I dun think i can get over all those "what used to be".
Tears kept flowing and flowing while i finally broke down. Finally faced my bloody emotions. I have lied to myself, lied to my friends and lied to my family that i'm alright and that i got over it. In fact, i know i have not and i dunno when i ever will be. I'm not seeking pity or understandings, i just need an avenue to vent my pent up fustrations and sorrow.
Oh Gosh. I miss him so much. Please, give me the strength i need. Help me look beyond this episode and towards the future. I need to see the light at the end of this meaningless and dark tunnel.
How can i get over this?
Yes. Thats exactly what he did. He brought his gf home today. I think this is not the first time already~ But at least he smsed me before coming back, so that gave me some time to regulate my feelings. He came back, and of coz, his gf hid in his room all the way, coming out a while jus to bathe i tink~ And we talked a little, mainly "business" and it felt wierd hearing him address the girl as his "girlfriend". Wanted to ask him something while he walked past, but i froze. Coz i didn't know what to call him by. "dear" was wat almost came out of my mouth~ call him adrian? wierd... call him ah bee? also wierd... call him eh? rude... hiaz, dun call better~ just signal~ haha!
Anyway, if u ask me wat's my feelings now? I would say mixed feelings. On one hand, i'm kinda happy for him. On the other hand, i still couldn't understand how i lost to her. Maybe its becoz i'm really over controlling~ So he couldn't take it anymore. This girl would probably be the gentle and meek type.
But i'm not feeling angry, sad or anything like that. Jus empty. void of any rational feelings that a normal girl should have if she was in my shoes. But here i am, typing away on my blog, telling everyone that i'm actually ok with it? Wierd... Haha! I think if the girl came out and i get to meet her, i would probably greet her with a "hey" or a "hello". Is this being gracious? or am i just pretentious? Haha!
Is this a sign that i moved on? I wonder...
Everywhere was crowded and restaurants have super long queues! So we decided to go for pizza hut~ The queue was also very long even thou from far it doesn't look like that~ So we decided to tabao~! We went to this little hilly park and had a little pizza picnic there~ I'm very surprised becoz he gave me a little valentines day gift~ Its a relax bear bear~ Hee~ Beside us, a few benches away, was this couple, making out~ It was kinda gross to see even thou they looked blurry to me~ Heee! After pizza, we went bowling~ 4 games, but we took our time~ the highest score was onli 130+ i tink~ haha! Plus i was laughing away at his bowling~ It kinda funny and entertaining~! Hee~ We finished at bout 1140 and i took a bus back~ but 179's last bus was at 12am~ So i missed it by 20min. Took a cab in and spent 6 bucks! Haha~
Overall it was a great day and i enjoyed myself~ Tml i'm collecting my vday's gift for him and i'll have to find a day to pass it to him~ Its so disappointing that he couldn't get it today~ But i'm sure he will understand~ Hee~ Btw, we are going out as frens, for now...
More bowling please!
And i just finished an e-learning assignment and submitted online~ There is a part B to this elearning assignment which i originally wanted to do like NOW? But its only available for editing starting 9am today... So... Yeah~ i can't do anything even if i wanted to~ Haha!
So happy valentines day to all the couples out there! I dunno if i'm happy or sad, but i'm spending it as a single this year. Not that our valentines day was anything special anyway. Haha!
Anyway, this year i'm spending valentines day with a simple dinner and bowling at bukit batok CSC with nik. Haha!
Alright, better slp soon~ tml will be tested on strength using medicine ball~ Hahah!!
Valentines day.. Shld i prepare chocolates?
For the past 2 nites, (tues and wed), i wasn't able to slp thanks to my "last min" habit~ I always procrastinate and wait till the last min to start doing my work. But finally, my individual project is done~ With a 14 page report and a 38 slides presentation, i thought i can finally cool off and relax while waiting for valentines day to arrive~! But NO.... Our lecturer had to give us MORE work for the math's elearning week~! The notice was posted up on tuesday and he expects us to complete it by thursday 9am!! ARrgh~ So tonight will be another all-niter again for me!
Although i have much work to do, but i'm still delaying... I just finished watching Juno online~ Cute movie about this young 16 year old girl getting pregnant and decide to keep the baby and set up a private adoption for this woman who desperately wished to be a mom~! Cool stuffs~
I'm gonna go nap a little, replenish my energy, then chiong work again~ I tink i'm going for a little nite jogging to wake myself up too~ Somehow, i feel more refreshed and awake after a jog~ Hahaa!!
Adios! Amigos!
I finally finished my report this morning and submitted it already~ I exceeded the 10 page limit by 4 pages! Hahaa~ Appendixes are part of the 10 page limit. But luckily, i will not be penalized~ Haha! Now that its done, i have the presentation slide to go~!
Anyway, after submitting the report, i rushed to canteen A to buy food~ I was SO HUNGRY becoz i didn't take my breakfast this morning. Well, before i got to the canteen, i met my classmate and i signalled to her with a nod and guess wat? the guy in front of her thought i signalled to him and he said "hello" to me! Haha~ I pretend i didn't see him and called out my friend's name instead. Dunno what happened to him after dat~ haha!!
The queues at the canteen are super long! The crowds are scary during lunch time and it took me almost 20 min to get my food! Haha!
Work Work~! Foooooood!
My friend asked me why do i always do last-min work? So i told him, "I can work only under pressure, but sometimes, i can also crack under pressure". And he replied, "How come u work like a submarine?" I was amused by that analogy so i decided to share it with everyone~ haha!
Anyway, i'm really working against time now. Looking at the amount of time i have left and the amount of sleep i manage to squeeze in, its not promising enough~ Haha! And here i am, taking a break, blogging away~ Haha!!
Anyway, i finally uploaded 6 albums of photographs to my picasa web album~ Go take a look when free ba~! Have my new hairstyle too! Although it may not look very nice on the photos~ Haha!
bloop bloop bloop~
Lo and Behold..... My aunty's doggy, Phoenix with its favourite act, PLAY DEAD!
How much is that doggy in the window~?
Haha! Today is the last day of this long weekend holiday~ and guess what i did the whole day so far? NOTHING much~ hehe~ Slept till 1.30pm, waking up only becoz my sis is coming over for visiting~ ate lunch, chit chat a little before she leaves for another place. Then help uncle willie fix up the old but working and out of ink, printer. Before i know it, its already 6 plus already~ And i still didn't get any work done~! I'm left with a few days to get my 10 page report ready and prepare for a 20min ppt presentation!
Have to start soon~! After my dinner maybe? Heee~ Now let me slack a little more! Hee~
Work Work~ Like the peons~!
So we started day 3 at 12am, at bukit batok csc~ we bowled about 4 games each in 2 hours! quite good time actually~ could have been faster, but the system wasn't fast enough for us~! heee~ My best game that nite was my 4th game~ I bowled 171 and had a turkey!! Hee~ I was soooooo happy and proud of myself~ but guess wat? the game before that i onli bowled 67~ haha~! After the games, my arm was aching so badly~ Haha!
2nd day of CNY is about to end soon~ Today, my day started with visitin my roomie's house at simei~ left the house at bout 9am!! Ate so much snacks there~ haha!!
Next up, bowling at CSC @ bukit batok. played about 3 games and had a plate of fried rice, complimentary of my auntie julie~
Next, i went to adrian's cousin's place at woodlands~ It was a little funny becoz adrian is there? didn't expect him to be there actually, since he didn't go home last nite~ anyway, he shook my hand and wished me happy new year~ and also commented that my hairstyle is nice~ haha! guess how i replied? "you the one dun let me cut~" TELL ME.... How stupid can i get? Haha!
After that my aunty picked me up at went to auntie juliet's place~ played a little blackjack and lost 10 buckeroos~! Hee~ But since i lost to my aunty, i didn't mind~ Hee~
Now i'm blogging at my aunty's place, waiting for my sis and her bf to turn up~ den we will be bowling at bukit batok csc again~ csc is civil service club~ we will be there from 12am to bout 3am ba~ hee~
Wat a day~!
Its the year of the rat again~ I have lived thru 2 cycles of the chinese zodiac already~ Yup~ I'm 24 this year~ Even thou i'm a rat, this year does not favour me at all~ Its an unlucky year for me. "fan tai sui".
But even thou it is unlucky for me, i still won some money from mahjong and blackjack~ My earnings so far would be about 10+ bucks? Haha!
So, for today, i went 4 places in total~ We started our "journey" at bout 2pm and went to my uncle's mom's place. After lunch there, we went to my aunty's old friend's place~ There i met my junior from PESS!! I was so surprised~ Haha! After dat, i went to my ah ma's place where i met my mom after so long~ Sat for a short while, i went to my mama's place. (father's mother) Ate late dinner there den go home le. Haha!
Short description of a long day~! Anyway, when i'm back, i was quite surprised that adrian went out already. I believe he wun be coming back tonight again ba~ not that i'm bothered by it~ haha~ And yes. all the family and relatives still doesn't know about this. Haha!
CNY day 1. Over in 15 min~
I took train to commonwealth mrt station and from there took a taxi to holland village. The journey wasn't that bad but the scary part was walking up the stairs to the salon. The salon is called Next, and its located near the "party supplies" store. Eh, last time its called PArty USA... But now i'm not sure~
Anyway, when i walked up the stairs, my heart was already pounding. After i registered myself with them, i was showed to a seat. This seat is not the usual hair salon seats where they can adjust the height. Its more like a 1 seater leather sofa. Its super comfy! Plus, they will serve you drinks on the house~ Hee~ Before cutting, they washed my hair. Again~ Comfy is the word~ The guy was so gentle and the massage was so soothing~ It was a great experience.
After washing, my heart started pounding again~ Mack, my stylist, asked me if i was ready to chop of my hair. I jus nodded~ Hee~ And she jus cut away~ She seems very meticulous in her work. After the first cut, she got her "apprentice" to blow dry my hair and she shaped my hair again~ I was quite amazed at the end result. Its not wat i expected, but its still nice anyway~ haha! I got reminded of myself maybe 4 to 5 years ago? Hee~
Now i'm only worried that i dunno how to upkeep this hairstyle~ Hee~ but i'll try!! I'll post the pic up after CNY~ Hee~ Keep the suspense up~
Changes~!
Its been so long since i was tested on 2.4km~ brings back memories~ hahaa!! Well, anyway, its part of my fitness and conditioning module and this test is 10% of my total grade and the results is ranked according to time... thru the ranking, our lecturer will grade us accordingly. Although i was the slowest in my class, i'm surprised at my timing~ I managed 13:30min. I would say that i did train for it, but i feel that i didn't train enough~ but i'm still very happy nonetheless~! Hee~ I'm very proud of my results~! Hee~
Heeee!!
Went for a date on Saturday~ It was our first date~ It started out a little wierd becoz he was soooo quiet~ We watched Sweeny Todd~ It was quite scary at the start, not "ghostly" scary, but "gory" scary~ but nearing the end of the movie, it was so repetitive that it became funny more den scary~ as a musical movie, i tink its quite good~ professor snape and the rat from harry potter also acted in this show, and at some parts, their acting were very similar to this show~ Same goes for johnny depp in pirates of the carribean~ If i had to rate it, i would give it 3.5 out of 5? Haha!
After movies, we went shopping~ need to buy a cap and jeans or track pants~ but couldn't find the tracks that's nice and of my size~ so bought a cap instead~ Its dark pink~ I tink the color is very nice~ made me a little more feminine~ Hee~
After walking and walking, we decided that we better go for dinner in case the place closed early~ We had ramen at this stall in Far East Square~ FYI, its located near raffles place and china town~ Haha! I had to say this becoz i thought it was at orchard initially~! The ramen was quite nice but the charsiew was SUPER fatty~! But wat really attracted me was the atmosphere there. It was quite, serene, wooden tables and chairs, simple lights that are neither very bright nor dark~ The sashimi was delicious! Very thick, juicy and fresh~! Wasted he dunno how to appreciate sashimi~ Hee~
We went to Chinatown next with the purpose of locating "tang yuan" dessert~ but it was so crowded and messy and we kinda lost or way for a while~ Everywhere was stalls selling "nian huo" for chinese new year~ Sweets and more sweets~ and the floor was littered with sweet wrappers~ After a while, we finally found the stall, BUT...... its queue was super long man~ So we gave up and went to buy drink from 7-11 instead~ Hee~ There is this new coffee and it actually taste quite nice~ Hee~ There is this mint green tea also~ quite funny the taste, but nice~
Hmmm~ Still got wat... After that we walked back to raffles place mrt and took a train back~ We had more stuffs to talk about nearer to the end of the day~ So it turned out to be quite alright~ Overall, it was quite enjoyable~
Oh, hope you dun mind me bloggin yeah? Hee~
Moving on?
My class has been going on and on about this phrase... "Silence! I'll kill you!!" And i have been wondering whats it about~ So today, marc sent me a link to the video below and i realise what's that all about~! Haha!!
These next 3 vids are basically Jeff and the Walter that Achmed was talking about! Enjoy~!
Walter and Jeff Dunham # 1
Walter and Jeff Dunham # 2
Walter and Jeff Dunham # 3
I Don't Give a Damn... Ah...
Went for paintball last sunday with marc and his company ppl~ It was FUN~! Even thou it burned a hole in my pocket~ It cost us 80 bucks each for that game... Even though i didn't know anyone except marc, his colleagues were very nice ppl~!
We started out with the usual game... Shoot the targets down and retrieve the ammo box~ And we ended it off with a 8 v 2 deathmatch~ 8 of Marc's colleague vs Marc and Kai~! It was fun to see the guys shoot each other down man~! haha!!
Here are some pictures of that fateful day~ Wahahaa!!
Me trying on the "no.4" uniform to help "cushion" the impact of the paintball~
Kendrick: "Shit, i brought 2 shirt and no pants!" (So he lent me his other shirt..)
Allocation of groupings~ We had 15 ppl in total, so 5 in a team~
After the briefing, before the "war"!
Practicing and testing out our rifles~
Posing~ The Japalang Team~ None of us had a complete "No.4" suit~ Haha!
After a few games... All shagged out~
Before the commencement of the 8v2 match~ Marc in brown, Kai in blue~
After the last buzzer was sounded, our 2 heroes, soaked with paint~!
Cool Game! Enjoyed it~!
This is the 4th week of school, and i'm starting to feel the heat... Many assignments to complete and yet i'm still slacking~! Tml is the deadline for submission of an article review, yet i'm still blogging~! Hahaha!! A girl needs her break too rite??
I'm slowly getting over adrian and i'm glad for all the distractions in school and from friends... Tennis, Jogging, Assignments that are bottle necking, Chinese New Year... All these and more... I'm glad i have my roomies and friends that were so accomodating to my nonsense and complaints...
I'm starting my life anew and in fact, change is already beginning... I have got a new phone! A Nokia 6500 Classic, very sleek~ The next change would be a new haircut at NEXT salon~ (What an irony, Haha!) But this time, it will be a hairCUT~ no more trimmings... Will post my before and after photos after cutting them~ Wish me Luck! After cutting my hair, i believe i will be changing my specs... Saw one that i really like, but i'm not sure if it will suit me after my hair cut~ Hee~ Many changes on the way~!
I'm enjoying singlehood rite now, but still, i'm a sucker for love and attention... I would still want to be pampered~ Haha!! But look at me? I'm happier now... It may be a right move after all... Wait a min, it WAS a right move! (No, according to my sis, it IS a right move!) Hahaa!
Anyway, its time to move on and focus on what's important. Family, Friends and School Work~!
Groovy Grooving~!
They are officially together now... He smsed me this afternoon to let me know the "good" news...
I'm happy for him, but somewhat unsure of whats my feeling now... I tink i'm happy~ but thats my head thinking... but as for my heart, i dunno man~ feeling a little lost... but as i have said before, at least i know that there is no hope in waiting for him anymore and its high time for me to move on... And i WILL~
There is always time for everything... And its time for me to move on~!
I finally realised how much he likes that gal... His attitude changed when i decided to help him talk to the girl~ I guess he will treat me more like a fren now... Instead of a burden ba...
I have decided to help him becoz i find him quite pitiful~ stuck between a couple, when the girl dun seem to want to give up her current relationship for him... somemore he already spent some nites at her place too... I feel its unfair for him to live liddat... so i will be calling the girl up... once he gives me her number...
I dunno if i'm doin the rite thing, but i'm doin it anyway... but at least i noe now that i'm finally free... free from the emotional burden... free from the thought of getting together again... But at least if i noe he is happy, den i'll be happy too...
Update: He gave me her number alrite, that means he really wans me to call her... but he suddenly say the girl is uncomfortable... so i wun be calling her after all... Come to think of it, its obvious why she dun wanna recieve my call... but i shall not continue any further...
For the first time after so long, there is "hahaha" coming from his smses... Hahaha!!
I'm FREE to date!
Just finished watching a taiwan drama, Romantic Princess... I spent only 2 days watching the whole series as its onli 13 episodes long...
The show started out funny, but as the show dragged on, the plot seemed to be very predictable... And it doesn't seem to be as romantic as i tote it would be... The ending is very stupid... i was hoping for like a "3 years later" part where i can see the development from there... But no! it ended at the airport with the 2 main characters kissing... Its not even the "hot and steamy" type of kiss... More like a peck peck peck type of kiss...
Anyway, its a little disappointing, but i still enjoyed the hilarious parts...
Time to stop watching shows and get down to work!!!
Watching the latest few episode, the problem between yusheng and dinosaur, i got reminded of what happened to me. Thinking back, i should have agreed to walk away when he first mentioned there was a problem between us... I should have been brave like yusheng to accept the fact... Maybe things will be better now...
Too late... Its too late...
We advanced to the top 8~! Our class played SUPER well lah~! All the swift and accurate passes, fantastic shooting by zijian and evon, all out defense from shy and alvin, fast and supportive center and wings, amanda, eileen and sheryl~! We are a fantastic team and i believe we will advance to the semis tml~!
KEEP IT UP GUYS and GALS~!
I broke my NO SUPPER rule today~! Had cheese and mushroom prata and a milo dinosaur~! WAh Super fattening lorz~! Nvm, i tink i worked hard enough to indulge in today's supper~! I'll jog it off~! Soon~ Haha!
Update: We are placed 3rd~! Good job guys~! We played well today! Haha!!
JIAYOU JIAYOU~!
Jus few hours ago, my uncle brought us to a place in bukit batok to eat dinner~ the food there is fantastic lah! We had steamed garoupa, cereal prawns, prawn paste chicken, kangkong and minced pork with salted eggs... Its very nice... The seafood are super fresh and its not too ex... The meal cost about 90 bucks for 7 ppl~
Now i'm back in hall~ Somehow, i'm quite happy to be here... At least i know that i have a place to stay~ For this semester at least~ I'm slowly adapting to my life without him as my bf... without him as my life... Sooner or later, i'll be able to push him out of my life as a bf, an ex, totally....
I better slp liao~ tml still got school~!
To forget is a long and tiring process.
Its friday again~ its been almost 2 weeks since i stayed in hall~ Slowly getting used to the lifestyle here... I can feel that my overal physical activity has increased, thanks to all my jogging kakis... Its also thanks to all my online msn friends that keep chatting with me even after midnight~ (you know who you are~! haha~)
I feel that i have been blessed with wat i have now, and i'm not going to lose them this time... But there is just 1 thing that i need to do... That is to reaffirm if i should wait for him still... or not... When the time is right, i'll do what i have to do, once and for all~ This would be the deciding factor...
Will you avoid me again?
Somehow, my name is still on NYP website~ Haha!!
Here's the link~ http://www.nyp.edu.sg/sidm/sidm_showcaseGA.html
This is a project we worked on during our school days~ But the thumbnail provided is quite pathetic~ They should just host the actual game!
Toyz
Category:
Flash Game
Award:
Noise Singapore Showcase
Description:
This is a PC Flash game created over a period of 3 weeks. This is a strategy turn base game where the players take turn controlling their army toys to outwit each other. Mix and match your own army with the remains that’s left behind during the battle to turn the tide around
DONE BY:
Loh Jin Tian Alvin, Lee Mei Feng Rosenna, Lim Mingsen Benson, Nicholas Seah Cheng Hong, Nur Hayati, Si Cheong Meng Sammi Adrian,Tan Jun Jie Gavin
I'm Famous!
We were told to submit a class photo for the annual school magazine~ So all of us wore our class t-shirt yesterday and chose a perfect spot for our photos. We wanted to be creative, but the security refused to let us step on the grass... So we had to take the usual boring class photo in the end~
After that, someone suggested taking some fun shots of our backs so that it can be composited into the boring photos~ and one thing leads to another... we ended up taking fun shots of our front too~! And we rushed to class~!
After class, some of them went to play table tennis, but i decided to go back to hall to work on the photo instead~! Its something that i really enjoy doing~ Haha! After about 6 to 7 hours... This is what i had~
Well, its not my best work, but i feel its quite well done already~ Considering that i haven touched photoshop for quite a while~ Haha!!
Photoshop RuleZ~!
1. Wake up, Wash up.
2. Breakfast.
3. School, Lessons.
4. Hip Hop Course.
5. Anime.
6. Short Short Nap.
7. Subway.
8. Window Shopping.
9. Games at the Arcade.
10. Anime.
11. Jogging around Campus.
12. Study a little.
13. MSN.
14. Facebook.
15. Anime.
16. Sleep.
How nice huh?
Wah~ i brought so many things back to hall~ Food and stuffs~ haha!! Shiok man~ I tink i'm going to grow fat here... Hee~ Noodles, Bread, Ham, Chocolate Milk, Jam, Jelly~ So many things!!!! Woo Hoo~
I brought my inline skates and hockey gear, so i tink i'll start inline hockey again soon~ but i'll take it real slow~ becoz i can't afford to injure myself, especially this semester~ Thanks to a silly module that will deduct marks if i can't take the test due to injury~ So stupid~
Brought quite a few stuffs to decorate the pin board... I'll do doing a banner soon which says "FORGET HIM" and point it to his picture~
Tink i'm starting to get used to hall life ba~ Jus treat it like chalet lo~ I'm onli lacking of TV... Will be missing american idol lor~ So SAD~
TV TV TV~ ANTENNA~!
Yupz~ He didn't come back yesterday nite again~ Its either he really had a good time staying at whoever's house, or he is trying his best to avoid me~
Well, he does not need to worry anymore... Adrian's parents cleared the storeroom to make space for me, so that i dun haf to share a room with adrian... This means he can come back to his own house... Is it really that awkward? Its not like i'm going to seduce him or wat... I already gave up the notion of getting back together again... I will not stand in his way to wat he thinks is his happiness~
Anyway, when i'm back this coming friday, i'll hide in the new room when he comes back and comes out only after he left the place for work next morning~ He will not see me at all~ So to him, i dun exist, and to me, he dun exist...
I'm very thankful for what his parents are doing for me and i appreciate it alot~ I will surely repay the debt once i'm in the position to do so. Once i graduate, i'll definately give them some allowance... This is the least i can do~
One step at a time~
I already decided not to slp in the same bed liao~ i'm even slping on the beach chair... But i woke up at 6plus to find his bed still empty~ Apparantly he went to his neighbour's house to stay over... When i tink about it, there can be onli 3 reasons...
1. He wans to play games loudly and enjoy the company of a friend...
2. He lied and went over to that girl's house instead...
3. He really stayed over at his neighbour's house but its becoz he doesn't want to face me...
To find out if it is number 2, its very simple actually... Jus check his phone messages... If their is no messages or phonecalls to and from that girl, it would mean that they were together last nite... Although that is wat i suspect it to be, i will not do anything to find out... He is no longer my bf, whatever he does now is really none of my business...
Wakarimasen!
It seems the shows that i watch are reflecting wat i'm going thru and how i feel...
Our local drama Kinship 2 手足II is also one of them... About episode 18, which was aired on 9th Jan, Wednesday, basically showed Jin Sha finally caught Nai Fa and Daisy~ Jin Sha went on a rampage, and cried alot... Meiqi mama consoled her and talked some sense into her, and i'm going to use what she said on myself~
"I didn't want to let him go either, becoz we led such happy life together, couldn't bear to let go. I'm working on leading a single life now. You can do it to!"
"If a man has had a change of heart, its no use keeping him by your side either. Learn to let go or you will be the one suffering in the end..."
I can do it too!
Lugging my heavy bags, returning after being away for almost a week, i was draggin my feet as i walked from the bus stop to the door step... Its not the weight of the bag that was slowing me down... It was my emotions... I wasn't feeling as comfortable as i tote i would be~ But when i'm back, i was alright. I washed my clothes, unpacked my bags, prepared some stuffs which i wan to bring back to hall this sunday~
Looking at the food cooked by adrian's mom, smelling the flavour, tasting them, made me realise how much i missed home cooked food~ Although i'm getting used to hall food and hall life, home is still the best...
Except, this may very well not be my home... I know what i must do later and i shall do it well... I shall not be bothered by his existence and carry on with my life... To adrian, this must be acknowledged as a temporary refuge for me... But as long as i know its not, its fine...
I do not dare to touch his bed, fearing that the feelings will float back to me and trigger my tears... So i believe i shall sleep on his beach chair today... I must be strong!
Give Me Strength~
True Blue 6B Gathering... Haha! Today onli 8 ppl turned up for this "farewell" gathering for Meng. He is leaving for Shanghai on monday for a 1 year work and study experience i tink~ Ate at NYDC and came back by cab... 21 bucks! Lucky 3 ppl share~ Haha!!
As for school? Its starting to get busier, but i'm still slacking~ Coz i believe i will not be able to get in the groove for another few weeks ba~ The courses are quite dry, but i'm blessed with interesting teachers for my general modules... But for PE modules, we are taught by koreans! Luckily one of the 3 teachers can speak good english, if not i tink we are really DEAD...
Adrian's mom didn't call me today... I wonder why... Althou i noe she said before that if it doesn't go back to how it was, i can be her god daughter... But i have this feeling that she will slowly get use to me not being around... And probably she will forget bout wat she said after a few months... I can only hope for the best...
She ask me not to give up... But i want to... If he can do it to me once, he surely can do it to me again... I'm not so sure if i want him as my husband anymore... I still love him... But i'm not sure if i can hold up... I need to let go in order to carry on with my life... But adrian's mom doesn't want me to let go~ So how liddat?? I also dunno liao~ Hiaz...
Alright~ Back to my anime~!
OUENDAN!!!
I was watching 櫻野3加1, a taiwan drama... I like the characters so i decided to start on this drama... Not that i read anything about it prior to watching the show...
Anyway, at about episode 13 onwards, the story development between Yang Jia Jiang and Xia Tian is quite similar to mine... As in Yang Jia Jiang demanded a break up while Xia Tian knows that she loves him too much to give up and that his actions is due to some other reasons, and not becoz he didn't love her...
The camping trip in episode 15 is also very similar... I asked adrian the same thing as Xia Tian did... She asked Yang Jia Jiang if he can pretend that they are still a couple... pretend that he still loves her... jus keep hugging like that, at least till the rain stopped... The only difference is Yang Jia Jiang really still loves Xia Tian... Its circumstances that drove them apart... But for me, Adrian doesn't love me anymore... Even if he agreed, it would be out of habit and maybe even pity... Hiaz...
I was so so so hoping that the characters are me and adrian... becoz as the story advanced, they finally got back together... Hiaz... You have to watch the show to know what i mean~
Anyway, here's the link to the show if u guys are interested...
http://www.ttv.com.tw/drama/2007/InYa/index.htm (Chinese Text)
Can't seem to shite~
Today is the first day in school~ Started off quite slowly...
Adrian's parents sent me to school with some of my barang barang... Adrian's mom was so sentimental about me staying in school~ She called me to talk a little after my lesson~ Hee~
Anyway, i met mich and went to school earlier for lunch and to meet hakim... Then went for maths lecture... It must be the most boring lesson in my whole life in school man~ Anyway, after that was fitness and conditioning which i was damn shocked by the marks breakdown... 40% on serious fitness lor~ like 2.4, pacer test, strength and flexibility~! I'm dead for this module liao lor~ Next was tennis which we didn't exactly play tennis... Spent the whole 1 hour going thru module outline... But we did play on our own after dat~ Quite fun~
Hall life starts from here on... Tabao dinner den go hall eat... After eating, slack around and unpack my stuffs... Den at 11.15pm, we went jogging!! Did some push ups and sit ups and finally help nuriah move fridge for some reason~
After dat we still went for supper which i only had ice lemon tea! I'm dieting remember? And we did a little shopping at a 24hour supermarket~ Den come back to hall... Bathe, Wash Clothes and wait for the washing machine to be done with our clothes... By the time i'm here bloggin is already 3.30am!! Best part? I still can't slp~ Maybe i'm not used to this environment ba~
So i'm going to watch 1 episode of Ying Ye 2 Jia 1, den i'm going to slp le~ Hahaa!! Tml's Lesson starts at 12.30, and that would give me about 6 to 7 hours of slp... Enough lah~ Hahah!!
As for adrian? I like no time to think of him also~ Maybe 6 times for the whole day? But thats good rite? Its a good beginning ba~ Maybe i'll learn to forget soon~!
Hall Life~ Happening...
Come to think of it... I stupidly dressed him up... Make him look nice and young.... More Fashionable... No more Cargo Pants and Baggy T-Shirt... Now, he wears Jeans and Long sleeves t-shirt... First time he gel up his hair was done by me too... I feel kinda stupid now...
No wonder my aunty said that he will attract alot of attention now... And asked to dress up too... But you know what i told her? No nid lah~ Adrian likes me like that... BUT... Obviously not...
I asked him today... If next time u got gf and all, den not convenient for me to share his room, i'll rent the other room... He said "Won't that be wierd?" I jus said... "No what... We are frens rite?" Feels like i'm lying to myself... I dunno what to think now... Think i told him a little too early... But... Well... Whats done is done...
Will be going school soon... Once i'm there it will be 5 days before i'll be back in this place... Wonder what will it be like den... Wonder if he will miss me and all... Wonder how much have they advanced in their so called relationship...
I told myself not to think... Its now a platonic friendship... He is not my bf anymore... BUT i can't seem to let go... I told my good friends that i'm alright but i'm not... I watched him prepare his stuffs for work, changed, put on his gel, wear his shoe, a simple "bye" and he's out of the house. And i miss him already... And i tink i'll miss him more...
Will i learn to forget?
Today just moved my stuffs into hall... First impression was... How come not like hall 6? I'm going to be staying in hall 4... The place is a little old and location VERY FAR from my school~ But HECK~ Its my place now! I'll try to spruce it up together with my other 3 room mates!
Time to pack, sleep and wake up tml to go school~! Nitez...
Hall Life...
Just broke the news about me moving to hall to adrian's parents... Although it was for a valid reason, but adrian's mom knew there was another reason for moving into hall...
she asked me suddenly if there was any problem... i tried to lie to her that nothing is wrong... but i really couldn't... so i told her the truth... about what happened... I was okay initially but when i saw the tears in her eyes, i couldn't take it... i broke down too...
She is quite understanding actually... Except i can tell that she really loves me and couldn't bear for me to leave... She said if can't be her daughter-in-law, can also be her god-daughter also...
i told her about maybe renting a room from her if me and adrian really no hope next time... She say its okay... dunno about adrian's dad thou...
Anyway, it has come to a point where i'm really attached to the family liao... Cannot be bf, also can be brother. i'm sure adrian is ok with that... Maybe he will be more then happy? I dunno... Maybe our last life are entwined in such a way that this life we have to be together somehow... Sounds like a taiwan drama... Haha~ But thanks to her, i have something to look forward to... Maybe i'll have the family that i have always wanted... Who noes? Its too early to tell...
Now i can only concentrate on my studies and get my first class honors...
Walk One Step, Look One Step...
Confronted Adrian last nite... Or rather this morning... Talked and Cried, Cried and Talked... But one thing is clear... Adrian no longer have feelings for me... According to him, his feelings for me died even before they started going together... We finally decided that we can only be friends... Nothing more... So we officially broke up today, 6th Jan 2008... 5 Years, 9 Months, 26 Days...
I'm still staying at his place for now... Finding a place to stay first... Once that is found, we'll then let adrian's parents know... And i'll then move out... I guess i'll let my uncle and aunty know and see what they say... Since i'm staying hall for this sem, i hope my uncle allow me to put my stuffs at his place... Then i'll stay in hall 24/7...
Today we will be platonic friends... I guess when there is no emotional attachment, he is less stressful, and so he will treat me nicer... He actually hugged, kissed and asked me if i'll be here tonight... I said yeah~
He asked if i can be happy for him IF they actually got together... I said i'll try... But i know that i will be happy for him... Becoz when u truely love someone, all you wan is for the person to be happy... And since he can't be happy with me, i have no choice but to give him up...
Peili is still together with her bf... And i think i may jus go and talk to her one day if she is still undecisive... She has to make her choice man... It is unfair for both guys...
I may seem like a brave and strong gal... But deep down inside, I'm hurting badly... Really Badly... So much that i really feel like dying... End the misery once and for all... But i dun have the courage to do such a thing.
Adrian, if u are reading this, i wan u to know that my love for you has grown since that wierd proposal to be your gf... To a point that it is painful to let you go... I still love you even now and i'm not sure if i will ever be able to love someone else as much as i love you... You are one lucky guy to have such a nice family... Treasure them always and take care of them... I wish i had the chance to repay your family for all that they have done for me... I'm sure the chance will come one way or another... But for now, i wish u guys all the best. Love you all~
Walk One Step, Look One Step...
Apparantly there is really a third party... Her name is Peili... If i'm not wrong, she is a single mom, girlfriend of adrian's colleague... I think they jus broke up...
Adrian is a third party to their relationship... And this Peili is the third party of mine... Remember what i said not long ago? That sales person is destined to be with sales person? I think this jus came true...
The whole world knows it except me... Seriously... Why can't they warn me? Are they happy to see me in misery? To them, i'm already considered as an ex of adrian... This is seriously stupid... Me, hoping that we will be ok after moving into hall...
How am i not better then her? What am i lacking? I dunno... I wonder how long has this been going on... Actually i dun wanna know...
I'm moving into hall on monday.. And i jus asked him if i can come back on weekends... I must have sounded so damn desperate... He muz be laughing at me inside...
I think he didn't tell me even until now becoz he is putting me as spare tire... Someone that he can fall back to in case their relationship doesn't work out... Now, he agreed for me to come back during the weekdays may be becoz he pities me...
I really dunno what to do now... I wan to confront him... Yet i dun wan him to noe that i noe... What should i do?
Confused...
Okay. I went Penang with Jeremy and Eileen for 3 days 3 nites, inclusive of travelling time... Had an enjoyable time there, the local food was fantastic, but the fastfood was below standard...
Was about to blog all about the trip but i don't have the mood to do so now... Why? Becoz i happened to discover 2 ticket stubs to the show Vexille at the PictureHouse... I was initially shocked... Why did adrian have 2 ticket stubs to an anime movie? So i called him...
Me: You went to watch a movie at PictureHouse ar?
A: Ya
Me: With Who?
A: Er.... (Some name that i didn't want to remember)
Me: Who's that?
A: Andy's gf (His colleague is Andy)
Me: With her? Alone?
A: Yeah...
Me: Okay Bye. (Hang Up)
He called me back about 15min later to explain... His Story:
"There is nothing going on... Nothing between the two of us... I needed to buy a new phone and headphone becoz mine's spoiled already... So i asked her to go with me... Thats my only off day and i need that phone urgently... You are not around wat... Anyway, The show is I want to watch one... It's an anime show... I'm calling to tell you don't think of stupid things... There is nothing between us..."
Thats the gist of the whole conversation... Obviously i said alot of things in between but well... He made it look like its my fault since i'm not around... So its my fault for going away since i thought he needed his space... Imagine a short 3 day trip and this happened... Whats going to happen when i'm staying in hall 5 days a week? I have about 2-3 more days before moving into hall...
I really dunno what to expect out of this so called relationship... Again, i'm thankful that he is honest...
When a man says, "There is nothing going on." Can i believe that?
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