I'm surprised~!

Okay~ Somehow, i'm now no longer single~ Hahaa! The process was really surprising~ We met up for movies, in fact, it was kinda last minute decision to meet up today~! So we went to The Cathay to buy our tickets, den we went to PS to have our dinner~ The indonesian BBQ cuisine is quite nice~ Had BBQ chicken with rice~ We went back to The Cathay to window shop but all the shops closed liao~ So we ended up taking a walk towards cityhall and back when its about time for our movie to start~ Along the way, we were talking about whether it was wierd for us to be going out together... and stuffs like guys to take the initiative to "go steady" and whether muz the relationship be officiated with a question? Haha~ I tote it was jus another conversation~

During the movies, we were sitting quite close, its a couple seat. Den quite suddenly he shifted and put his arm around me and got me to lean against him~! I was SHOCKED, but when i felt his heart pounding and him breathing quite heavily, i smiled~ He was so nervous that he was shaking~ Haha!!

After that, we strolled to city hall mrt and took a detour to get the rochor tao huay. We wanted to eat it at esplanade, but we had to catch the last train... So we ate at AMK area and missed the last bus! Haha~ So no choice lor~ So he sent me back by cab~ It was truly unexpected but i enjoyed myself~ Haha!

Always expect the unexpected!

CNY 15th nite

Today is the "last" day of CNY~ And as a tradition, we were supposed to have a reunion dinner tonight. But 2 characters are missing... My uncle and my cousin~ One went outstation, One had to study for exams. So that left us with my sis and her bf, my younger cousin, aunty and her maid~ We went to Sakura @ Clementi~ Its really quite huge~ Considering 2 levels of food, lined up along one side of the walls~ Haha! The food wasn't too fantastic thou and i didn't eat too much. But still, i'm feeling very bloated even now...

After dinner, we went to my aunt's place where we slacked around, waiting for 10pm! The six of us went to Bukit Batok CSC for bowling!! It was messy... very messy at the beginning, too many bowling balls, too many games, and they were busy switching names and lookin on the score boards. We played 3 games in total and it was fun~!

Now that i'm back in hall, its time to slp~! tml muz chiong work somemore! Haha~

Bowling is wat i wan to do!

Majo no Jouken~

Yup~! I finished it~ a little later den expected~ but the ending was quite nice. Happy ending for everyone, jus how i would like it! Heeee~~

A little part of the show i would love to share would be the part where michi is in coma and hikaru almost turned off the life support. Luckily kinoshita came in time to pass hikaru a letter from michi~ It goes something like this... "If you are reading this letter, it means i may not be around anymore. But please do not follow me, cause if you die, you will never be able to go to the world of freedom. Freedom is written as 自由. Looking at the characters, I think the joy of living or the insistence of a will is freedom. Its meaningless if you don't live on. No matter how tough or hard it is, you need to live on. Truthfully, there is no such world of freedom. A world of freedom, is what you make with your both hands."

Isn't our hands made to touch, embrace and love our loved ones?

Majo no Jouken + Frisbee~

Started watching the Japanese Drama, Majo no Jouken~ Its actually about a forbidden love between a teacher and a high school student. The teacher is 26 years old and the boy is onli 17~! But they really love each other~ They believe that there is nothing wrong about that although the society doesn't think that way~ I feel that the story is really very sweet, but it will never happen here ba~ Oh, this show uses the song i posted before, "First Love by Utada Hikaru"! And thats y i started watching this show too!!

Anyway, after the lessons, i went to the com lab to continue on the series... Its onli 11 episodes, and intend to finish them by tonight~ The com lab was supposed to be closed by 5.30pm, but the technician didn't come to chase us out~ So i stayed on until 7.30pm, when my frisbee training starts~ Its my first training since ISG~ And i initially thought it as just a regular pickup session~ Without knowing, its actually our first IVP training~! Without knowin, i'm an IVP player liao!!! HEEEE~ The session was great and fun~! Oh, I skipped Inline Hockey training for this~ Hahah! Shhhhh....

After finishing frisbee, me and my roomie still went for a jog~ this time, we ran on the tracks instead, we decided that it is more gentle on the knees~ Haha! Our average time per round is about 3.5 min~ and we jogged for about nearing 50 min. So its safe to say we ran about 14 rounds!! That makes up to about 5.6km~! Hee~ Cool~ Hee~

Oki~ Time to continue with my jap drama and will slp after dat~ I have this weird feeling that something is going to happen tml~ So i'll just wait patiently for that occurance ba~ Hee~

Isn't our feet made so that we can march forward?

First Love - Utada Hikaru~

According to my friend, this song was introduced to us during our jap class and we sang in class? Haha~ I can't really remember that~ Maybe i'm really becoming Little Miss Forgetful le~ Haha!

Anyway, this is another song that reflects how i feel~ If you wanna watch and sing and read the translation at the same time, you can view this clip instead~

Original / Romaji Lyrics

Saigo no kisu wa
Tabako no flavor ga shita
Nigakute setsunai kaori

Ashita no imagoro ni wa
Anata wa doko ni iru n' darou
Dare wo omotte 'ru n' darou

You are always gonna be my love
Itsu ka dare ka to mata koi ni ochite mo
I'll remember to love
You taught me how
You are always gonna be the one
Ima wa mada kanashii love song
Atarashii uta utaeru made

Tachidomaru jikan ga
Ugoki-dasou to shite 'ru
Wasuretaku nai koto bakari

Ashita no imagoro ni wa
Watashi wa kitto naite 'ru
Anata wo omotte 'ru n' darou

You will always be inside my heart
Itsu mo anata dake no basho ga aru kara
I hope that I have a place in your heart too
Now and forever you are still the one
Ima wa mada kanashii love song
Atarashii uta utaeru made

You are always gonna be my love
Itsu ka dare ka to mata koi ni ochite mo
I'll remember to love
You taught me how
You are always gonna be the one
Mada kanashii love song
Now and forever...

English Translation

the last kiss
tasted like tobacco
a bitter and sad smell

tomorrow, at this time
where will you be?
who will you be thinking about?

you are always gonna be my love
even if I fall in love with someone once again
I'll remember to love
you taught me how
you are always gonna be the one
it's still a sad song
until I can sing a new song

the paused time is
about to start moving
there's many things that I don't want to forget about

tomorrow, at this time
I will probably be crying
I will probably be thinking about you

you will always be inside my heart
you will always have your own place
I hope that I have a place in your heart too
now and forever you are still the one
it's still a sad song
until I can sing a new song

you are always gonna be my love
even if I fall in love with someone once again
I'll remember to love
you taught me how
you are always gonna be the one
it's still a sad song
until I can sing a new song

Brings Back Memories...

Tennis Luck~

My tennis class has odd number of ppl, so we are short of 1 person for doubles team. So our lecturer has to join us as a player~ To be fair, we decided to draw lots. Some of the pairs are very cute together. Meaning, very coincidental. Like for example, Jeremy and Eileen, Jac and Amanda, Lap Yin and Ruo Ying, Jenn Yang and Darron~ Haha!! Its like they are always practicing together, and somehow they ended up as partners~ Draw Lots leh~

Haha! Anyway, I drew the number 4 and was waiting for my partner and guess what? It turns out to be our lecturer!! Haha!! But that somehow made me kinda stressed, coz if we win, it will be becoz he is playing and if we lose, it will be becoz i played badly... So... I have to step up and try to win some points... Tml we will be playing for top 2 position already~ So fast~! So Scary~ Against Jenn Yang and Darron~ Kinda scary opponents coz they are really good!

I have another presentation tml too~ 5 min teaching~ Hope i'm prepared enough! Hee~ After this presentation, i'm left with an essay to complete and i'm ready for my msia trip!

FUN comes after HARDWORK~

Songs that reflect feelings...

It seems like when you are down, songs u hear somehow reflects ur feeling... Hiaz...



Mariah Carey - We Belong Together

(Ooh, ooh, sweet love, yeah)

I didn't mean it
When I said I didn't love you, so
I should have held on tight
I never shoulda let you go
I didn't know nothing
I was stupid, I was foolish
I was lying to myself
I could not fathom that I would ever
Be without your love
Never imagined I'd be
Sitting here beside myself
Cause I didn't know you
Cause I didn't know me
But I thought I knew everything
I never felt

The feeling that I'm feeling
Now that I don't hear your voice
Or have your touch and kiss your lips
Cause I don't have a choice
Oh, what I wouldn't give
To have you lying by my side
Right here, cause baby
(We belong together)

[chorus]
When you left I lost a part of me
It's still so hard to believe
Come back baby, please
Cause we belong together

Who else am I gon' lean on
When times get rough
Who's gonna talk to me on the phone
Till the sun comes up
Who's gonna take your place
There ain't nobody better
Oh, baby baby, we belong together

I can't sleep at night
When you are on my mind
Bobby Womack's on the radio
Saying to me
"If you think you're lonely now"
Wait a minute
This is too deep (too deep)
I gotta change the station
So I turn the dial
Trying to catch a break
And then I hear Babyface
I only think of you
And it's breaking my heart
I'm trying to keep it together
But I'm falling apart

I'm feeling all out of my element
I'm throwing things, crying
Trying to figure out
Where the hell I went wrong
The pain reflected in this song
It ain't even half of what
I'm feeling inside
I need you
Need you back in my life, baby

[chorus]
When you left I lost a part of me
It's still so hard to believe
Come back baby, please
Cause we belong together

Who else am I gon' lean on
When times get rough
Who's gonna talk to me on the phone
Till the sun comes up
Who's gonna take your place
There ain't nobody better
Oh, baby baby, we belong together, baby

[chorus]
When you left I lost a part of me
It's still so hard to believe
Come back baby, please
Cause we belong together

Who am I gonna lean on
When times get rough
Who's gonna talk to me
Till the sun comes up
Who's gonna take your place
There ain't nobody better
Oh baby, baby
We belong together

Oh~ Wentworth Miller is in the Vid!!

Gundam~

Jus finished building this finally. I bought this quite some time ago for him. Wanted to build it together with him but we just couldn't find the time to do it. So since we are no longer together, i built it for him. Its kinda like an unfinished present ba~ I still got a few more boxes, but i tink this will be the last for him... If i ever want to build anymore, it will be for myself~ Anyway, he saw it and commented that it looks nice! I'm happy coz he talked and smiled at me. But its different now. Its polite. Purely friends. I saw their photos together, and they really did looked happy together. So i'm happy for him i guess.

Anyway, here are some pics of my masterpiece. Wanted to outline it, but i'm just too lazy! Haha! Oh, this one is quite cool, the joints are super movable and the weapon can be adjusted to fit onto other parts. Really cool~











Moving on...

Le tango de Roxanne

This scene was from moulin rouge where the christian found out that satine has to give up her body to the duke~ And christian sings to express his sorrows.... Althou the story is very different from mine, but the lyrics that christian sang, fully represents what i felt last night...'

"Why does my heart cry... feelings... I can’t fight... You’re free to leave me... Just don’t deceive me... And please believe me... When I say... I love you..."

But i'm determined to walk out and away from that~! Give me strength~!

Jiayou Ba!

Gathering @ Evon's Place~

"Attendance" for today, in order of appearance: Me! Sheryl, Nuriah, Hakim, Shy, Mich and gf, Alvin and finally Becky. We ate LJS and KFC, topshell and fruit salad~ Nice Combination of food~! Haha! Den we played this game called "Something Samy" I anyhow named the game coz i dunnoo wat's the real name~ Its quite a cool game that's kinda confusing~ Anyway, the person that makes a mistake, drinks~ Haha!

We wanted to play cards, black jack and all... BUT we decided to watch the soccer match between ManU and Arsenal~ 4-0~! And the goals were scored beautifully~! Hahahaa!!

After the match, every one took turns to draw on Becky's leg. We signed our names and wrote messages. Funny thing was, she didn't felt it at all~! haha! After that, we woke her up and went back le. Luckily my cousin came to fetch me, so i'm at my aunty's house now~ haha!

Cool Day~!

It HURTs...

Looks like i have over estimated my strength... Its painful. It really is...

Its 5am now. So early in the morning and i'm still awake. I couldn't slp. So i went to the kitchen to make myself a warm cup of milo... I barely made it to the kitchen, i turned back and went back to the room...

I walked past his door, hearing the music blasting out through the walls, looking at the darkness that seems to be pouring out from the gap under the door... I thought back to how i had to sleep through the noise and how i would irritate him to lower the volume so that i could slp. Now i sleep in this room, with all the silence i could get, and here i am, hoping that i could slp in that noisy room~

I can never look at his room again. knowing that this girl probably sat in what used to be my chair, slept in what used to be my side of the bed, beside the guy who used to be mine. I dun think i can get over all those "what used to be".

Tears kept flowing and flowing while i finally broke down. Finally faced my bloody emotions. I have lied to myself, lied to my friends and lied to my family that i'm alright and that i got over it. In fact, i know i have not and i dunno when i ever will be. I'm not seeking pity or understandings, i just need an avenue to vent my pent up fustrations and sorrow.

Oh Gosh. I miss him so much. Please, give me the strength i need. Help me look beyond this episode and towards the future. I need to see the light at the end of this meaningless and dark tunnel.

How can i get over this?

He brought his gf home...

Yes. Thats exactly what he did. He brought his gf home today. I think this is not the first time already~ But at least he smsed me before coming back, so that gave me some time to regulate my feelings. He came back, and of coz, his gf hid in his room all the way, coming out a while jus to bathe i tink~ And we talked a little, mainly "business" and it felt wierd hearing him address the girl as his "girlfriend". Wanted to ask him something while he walked past, but i froze. Coz i didn't know what to call him by. "dear" was wat almost came out of my mouth~ call him adrian? wierd... call him ah bee? also wierd... call him eh? rude... hiaz, dun call better~ just signal~ haha!

Anyway, if u ask me wat's my feelings now? I would say mixed feelings. On one hand, i'm kinda happy for him. On the other hand, i still couldn't understand how i lost to her. Maybe its becoz i'm really over controlling~ So he couldn't take it anymore. This girl would probably be the gentle and meek type.

But i'm not feeling angry, sad or anything like that. Jus empty. void of any rational feelings that a normal girl should have if she was in my shoes. But here i am, typing away on my blog, telling everyone that i'm actually ok with it? Wierd... Haha! I think if the girl came out and i get to meet her, i would probably greet her with a "hey" or a "hello". Is this being gracious? or am i just pretentious? Haha!

Is this a sign that i moved on? I wonder...

Valentines Day~ Aftermath~

Everywhere was crowded and restaurants have super long queues! So we decided to go for pizza hut~ The queue was also very long even thou from far it doesn't look like that~ So we decided to tabao~! We went to this little hilly park and had a little pizza picnic there~ I'm very surprised becoz he gave me a little valentines day gift~ Its a relax bear bear~ Hee~ Beside us, a few benches away, was this couple, making out~ It was kinda gross to see even thou they looked blurry to me~ Heee! After pizza, we went bowling~ 4 games, but we took our time~ the highest score was onli 130+ i tink~ haha! Plus i was laughing away at his bowling~ It kinda funny and entertaining~! Hee~ We finished at bout 1140 and i took a bus back~ but 179's last bus was at 12am~ So i missed it by 20min. Took a cab in and spent 6 bucks! Haha~

Overall it was a great day and i enjoyed myself~ Tml i'm collecting my vday's gift for him and i'll have to find a day to pass it to him~ Its so disappointing that he couldn't get it today~ But i'm sure he will understand~ Hee~ Btw, we are going out as frens, for now...

More bowling please!

So its Valentines Day today...

And i just finished an e-learning assignment and submitted online~ There is a part B to this elearning assignment which i originally wanted to do like NOW? But its only available for editing starting 9am today... So... Yeah~ i can't do anything even if i wanted to~ Haha!

So happy valentines day to all the couples out there! I dunno if i'm happy or sad, but i'm spending it as a single this year. Not that our valentines day was anything special anyway. Haha!

Anyway, this year i'm spending valentines day with a simple dinner and bowling at bukit batok CSC with nik. Haha!

Alright, better slp soon~ tml will be tested on strength using medicine ball~ Hahah!!

Valentines day.. Shld i prepare chocolates?

So its done~ So there's more?!

For the past 2 nites, (tues and wed), i wasn't able to slp thanks to my "last min" habit~ I always procrastinate and wait till the last min to start doing my work. But finally, my individual project is done~ With a 14 page report and a 38 slides presentation, i thought i can finally cool off and relax while waiting for valentines day to arrive~! But NO.... Our lecturer had to give us MORE work for the math's elearning week~! The notice was posted up on tuesday and he expects us to complete it by thursday 9am!! ARrgh~ So tonight will be another all-niter again for me!

Although i have much work to do, but i'm still delaying... I just finished watching Juno online~ Cute movie about this young 16 year old girl getting pregnant and decide to keep the baby and set up a private adoption for this woman who desperately wished to be a mom~! Cool stuffs~

I'm gonna go nap a little, replenish my energy, then chiong work again~ I tink i'm going for a little nite jogging to wake myself up too~ Somehow, i feel more refreshed and awake after a jog~ Hahaa!!

Adios! Amigos!

Today was FUNNY~

I finally finished my report this morning and submitted it already~ I exceeded the 10 page limit by 4 pages! Hahaa~ Appendixes are part of the 10 page limit. But luckily, i will not be penalized~ Haha! Now that its done, i have the presentation slide to go~!

Anyway, after submitting the report, i rushed to canteen A to buy food~ I was SO HUNGRY becoz i didn't take my breakfast this morning. Well, before i got to the canteen, i met my classmate and i signalled to her with a nod and guess wat? the guy in front of her thought i signalled to him and he said "hello" to me! Haha~ I pretend i didn't see him and called out my friend's name instead. Dunno what happened to him after dat~ haha!!

The queues at the canteen are super long! The crowds are scary during lunch time and it took me almost 20 min to get my food! Haha!

Work Work~! Foooooood!

I'm a Submarine~

My friend asked me why do i always do last-min work? So i told him, "I can work only under pressure, but sometimes, i can also crack under pressure". And he replied, "How come u work like a submarine?" I was amused by that analogy so i decided to share it with everyone~ haha!

Anyway, i'm really working against time now. Looking at the amount of time i have left and the amount of sleep i manage to squeeze in, its not promising enough~ Haha! And here i am, taking a break, blogging away~ Haha!!

Anyway, i finally uploaded 6 albums of photographs to my picasa web album~ Go take a look when free ba~! Have my new hairstyle too! Although it may not look very nice on the photos~ Haha!

bloop bloop bloop~

Phoenix... BANG!

Lo and Behold..... My aunty's doggy, Phoenix with its favourite act, PLAY DEAD!

How much is that doggy in the window~?

Sunday~

Haha! Today is the last day of this long weekend holiday~ and guess what i did the whole day so far? NOTHING much~ hehe~ Slept till 1.30pm, waking up only becoz my sis is coming over for visiting~ ate lunch, chit chat a little before she leaves for another place. Then help uncle willie fix up the old but working and out of ink, printer. Before i know it, its already 6 plus already~ And i still didn't get any work done~! I'm left with a few days to get my 10 page report ready and prepare for a 20min ppt presentation!

Have to start soon~! After my dinner maybe? Heee~ Now let me slack a little more! Hee~

Work Work~ Like the peons~!

Okay~ Day 3~!

So we started day 3 at 12am, at bukit batok csc~ we bowled about 4 games each in 2 hours! quite good time actually~ could have been faster, but the system wasn't fast enough for us~! heee~ My best game that nite was my 4th game~ I bowled 171 and had a turkey!! Hee~ I was soooooo happy and proud of myself~ but guess wat? the game before that i onli bowled 67~ haha~! After the games, my arm was aching so badly~ Haha!

After dat, my cousin came to pick us up to go to his place. There we played a little mahjong and blackjack before we sleep~ We woke up onli at 11am this morning~! One of the latest in my aunty's house becoz my uncle seldom let us slp in. Haha~ We had brunch, den went to my dad's place for visiting. Snacked and snacked~

From there, we were supposed to watch movie and the price per ticket is now $10!! So i had no choice but to go back and pick up some vouchers first. At least i saved $2.50 per ticket~ But when i msged uncle willie (adrian's dad), he said he wun be in. So i had no choice but to go to adrian's shop to pick up the keys~ I tink his colleague didn't recognise me~ i hope so too. Guess wat? when i reached home, uncle willie is at home... apparently, his job was delayed~ Haha! So i took the keys for nothing... Well, anyway i went to AMK hub and return adrian his keys and bought the tickets. Wanted to watch AH Long Pte Ltd, but it was selling out fast up to the 8pm show! So we settled for KungFu Dunk~ The show was quite nice actually, not as stupid as i tote it was. Storyline feels a little like Slam Dunk, especially the part where jay chou feel in love with the captain's sister and him being a total beginner in basketball basics. The moves in the show were a little exaggerated at some parts, but still can be considered realistic ba, becoz i feel that the moves can be done by the professionals!

After the show, i rushed to rachel's place for a little CNY gathering. very little ppl turned up~ from my class, there is onli me~ haha! but it was fun~ had my first steamboat for this CNY and we played taboo~! there was lots of singing too~ hee~

Overall, i tink CNY this year was considered to be fun althou not so fruitful~ haha!! Hee!

Bowling anyone?

CNY day 2

2nd day of CNY is about to end soon~ Today, my day started with visitin my roomie's house at simei~ left the house at bout 9am!! Ate so much snacks there~ haha!!

Next up, bowling at CSC @ bukit batok. played about 3 games and had a plate of fried rice, complimentary of my auntie julie~

Next, i went to adrian's cousin's place at woodlands~ It was a little funny becoz adrian is there? didn't expect him to be there actually, since he didn't go home last nite~ anyway, he shook my hand and wished me happy new year~ and also commented that my hairstyle is nice~ haha! guess how i replied? "you the one dun let me cut~" TELL ME.... How stupid can i get? Haha!

After that my aunty picked me up at went to auntie juliet's place~ played a little blackjack and lost 10 buckeroos~! Hee~ But since i lost to my aunty, i didn't mind~ Hee~

Now i'm blogging at my aunty's place, waiting for my sis and her bf to turn up~ den we will be bowling at bukit batok csc again~ csc is civil service club~ we will be there from 12am to bout 3am ba~ hee~

Wat a day~!

Happy Lunar New Year!

Its the year of the rat again~ I have lived thru 2 cycles of the chinese zodiac already~ Yup~ I'm 24 this year~ Even thou i'm a rat, this year does not favour me at all~ Its an unlucky year for me. "fan tai sui".

But even thou it is unlucky for me, i still won some money from mahjong and blackjack~ My earnings so far would be about 10+ bucks? Haha!

So, for today, i went 4 places in total~ We started our "journey" at bout 2pm and went to my uncle's mom's place. After lunch there, we went to my aunty's old friend's place~ There i met my junior from PESS!! I was so surprised~ Haha! After dat, i went to my ah ma's place where i met my mom after so long~ Sat for a short while, i went to my mama's place. (father's mother) Ate late dinner there den go home le. Haha!

Short description of a long day~! Anyway, when i'm back, i was quite surprised that adrian went out already. I believe he wun be coming back tonight again ba~ not that i'm bothered by it~ haha~ And yes. all the family and relatives still doesn't know about this. Haha!

CNY day 1. Over in 15 min~

Its SHORT~!

I took train to commonwealth mrt station and from there took a taxi to holland village. The journey wasn't that bad but the scary part was walking up the stairs to the salon. The salon is called Next, and its located near the "party supplies" store. Eh, last time its called PArty USA... But now i'm not sure~

Anyway, when i walked up the stairs, my heart was already pounding. After i registered myself with them, i was showed to a seat. This seat is not the usual hair salon seats where they can adjust the height. Its more like a 1 seater leather sofa. Its super comfy! Plus, they will serve you drinks on the house~ Hee~ Before cutting, they washed my hair. Again~ Comfy is the word~ The guy was so gentle and the massage was so soothing~ It was a great experience.

After washing, my heart started pounding again~ Mack, my stylist, asked me if i was ready to chop of my hair. I jus nodded~ Hee~ And she jus cut away~ She seems very meticulous in her work. After the first cut, she got her "apprentice" to blow dry my hair and she shaped my hair again~ I was quite amazed at the end result. Its not wat i expected, but its still nice anyway~ haha! I got reminded of myself maybe 4 to 5 years ago? Hee~

Now i'm only worried that i dunno how to upkeep this hairstyle~ Hee~ but i'll try!! I'll post the pic up after CNY~ Hee~ Keep the suspense up~

Changes~!

2.4km Test~

Its been so long since i was tested on 2.4km~ brings back memories~ hahaa!! Well, anyway, its part of my fitness and conditioning module and this test is 10% of my total grade and the results is ranked according to time... thru the ranking, our lecturer will grade us accordingly. Although i was the slowest in my class, i'm surprised at my timing~ I managed 13:30min. I would say that i did train for it, but i feel that i didn't train enough~ but i'm still very happy nonetheless~! Hee~ I'm very proud of my results~! Hee~

Heeee!!

A Date?

Went for a date on Saturday~ It was our first date~ It started out a little wierd becoz he was soooo quiet~ We watched Sweeny Todd~ It was quite scary at the start, not "ghostly" scary, but "gory" scary~ but nearing the end of the movie, it was so repetitive that it became funny more den scary~ as a musical movie, i tink its quite good~ professor snape and the rat from harry potter also acted in this show, and at some parts, their acting were very similar to this show~ Same goes for johnny depp in pirates of the carribean~ If i had to rate it, i would give it 3.5 out of 5? Haha!

After movies, we went shopping~ need to buy a cap and jeans or track pants~ but couldn't find the tracks that's nice and of my size~ so bought a cap instead~ Its dark pink~ I tink the color is very nice~ made me a little more feminine~ Hee~

After walking and walking, we decided that we better go for dinner in case the place closed early~ We had ramen at this stall in Far East Square~ FYI, its located near raffles place and china town~ Haha! I had to say this becoz i thought it was at orchard initially~! The ramen was quite nice but the charsiew was SUPER fatty~! But wat really attracted me was the atmosphere there. It was quite, serene, wooden tables and chairs, simple lights that are neither very bright nor dark~ The sashimi was delicious! Very thick, juicy and fresh~! Wasted he dunno how to appreciate sashimi~ Hee~

We went to Chinatown next with the purpose of locating "tang yuan" dessert~ but it was so crowded and messy and we kinda lost or way for a while~ Everywhere was stalls selling "nian huo" for chinese new year~ Sweets and more sweets~ and the floor was littered with sweet wrappers~ After a while, we finally found the stall, BUT...... its queue was super long man~ So we gave up and went to buy drink from 7-11 instead~ Hee~ There is this new coffee and it actually taste quite nice~ Hee~ There is this mint green tea also~ quite funny the taste, but nice~

Hmmm~ Still got wat... After that we walked back to raffles place mrt and took a train back~ We had more stuffs to talk about nearer to the end of the day~ So it turned out to be quite alright~ Overall, it was quite enjoyable~

Oh, hope you dun mind me bloggin yeah? Hee~

Moving on?

Silence! I'll Kill You~!

My class has been going on and on about this phrase... "Silence! I'll kill you!!" And i have been wondering whats it about~ So today, marc sent me a link to the video below and i realise what's that all about~! Haha!!



These next 3 vids are basically Jeff and the Walter that Achmed was talking about! Enjoy~!

Walter and Jeff Dunham # 1


Walter and Jeff Dunham # 2


Walter and Jeff Dunham # 3


I Don't Give a Damn... Ah...

Paintball~!

Went for paintball last sunday with marc and his company ppl~ It was FUN~! Even thou it burned a hole in my pocket~ It cost us 80 bucks each for that game... Even though i didn't know anyone except marc, his colleagues were very nice ppl~!

We started out with the usual game... Shoot the targets down and retrieve the ammo box~ And we ended it off with a 8 v 2 deathmatch~ 8 of Marc's colleague vs Marc and Kai~! It was fun to see the guys shoot each other down man~! haha!!

Here are some pictures of that fateful day~ Wahahaa!!

Me trying on the "no.4" uniform to help "cushion" the impact of the paintball~

Kendrick: "Shit, i brought 2 shirt and no pants!" (So he lent me his other shirt..)

Allocation of groupings~ We had 15 ppl in total, so 5 in a team~

After the briefing, before the "war"!

Practicing and testing out our rifles~

Posing~ The Japalang Team~ None of us had a complete "No.4" suit~ Haha!


After a few games... All shagged out~

Before the commencement of the 8v2 match~ Marc in brown, Kai in blue~

After the last buzzer was sounded, our 2 heroes, soaked with paint~!

Marc's mask after the game~ Patterned~! Cool~!


Tabao~! 2 big baluku~! Haha!! (Taken with my phone...)

This session is considered to be a farewell party for Marc as he is leaving for aussie to study~ But he will be back again in Dec, and when the time comes, he might arrange for an airsoft game in bintan or batam~ I'll try to make it if my finances hold up~!

Marc, have a safe journey and see ya soon~! Thanks for the pics~!

Cool Game! Enjoyed it~!

Getting into the Groove~

This is the 4th week of school, and i'm starting to feel the heat... Many assignments to complete and yet i'm still slacking~! Tml is the deadline for submission of an article review, yet i'm still blogging~! Hahaha!! A girl needs her break too rite??

I'm slowly getting over adrian and i'm glad for all the distractions in school and from friends... Tennis, Jogging, Assignments that are bottle necking, Chinese New Year... All these and more... I'm glad i have my roomies and friends that were so accomodating to my nonsense and complaints...

I'm starting my life anew and in fact, change is already beginning... I have got a new phone! A Nokia 6500 Classic, very sleek~ The next change would be a new haircut at NEXT salon~ (What an irony, Haha!) But this time, it will be a hairCUT~ no more trimmings... Will post my before and after photos after cutting them~ Wish me Luck! After cutting my hair, i believe i will be changing my specs... Saw one that i really like, but i'm not sure if it will suit me after my hair cut~ Hee~ Many changes on the way~!

I'm enjoying singlehood rite now, but still, i'm a sucker for love and attention... I would still want to be pampered~ Haha!! But look at me? I'm happier now... It may be a right move after all... Wait a min, it WAS a right move! (No, according to my sis, it IS a right move!) Hahaa!

Anyway, its time to move on and focus on what's important. Family, Friends and School Work~!

Groovy Grooving~!

Together already~

They are officially together now... He smsed me this afternoon to let me know the "good" news...

I'm happy for him, but somewhat unsure of whats my feeling now... I tink i'm happy~ but thats my head thinking... but as for my heart, i dunno man~ feeling a little lost... but as i have said before, at least i know that there is no hope in waiting for him anymore and its high time for me to move on... And i WILL~

There is always time for everything... And its time for me to move on~!

If he is happy, i'm happy?

I finally realised how much he likes that gal... His attitude changed when i decided to help him talk to the girl~ I guess he will treat me more like a fren now... Instead of a burden ba...

I have decided to help him becoz i find him quite pitiful~ stuck between a couple, when the girl dun seem to want to give up her current relationship for him... somemore he already spent some nites at her place too... I feel its unfair for him to live liddat... so i will be calling the girl up... once he gives me her number...

I dunno if i'm doin the rite thing, but i'm doin it anyway... but at least i noe now that i'm finally free... free from the emotional burden... free from the thought of getting together again... But at least if i noe he is happy, den i'll be happy too...

Update: He gave me her number alrite, that means he really wans me to call her... but he suddenly say the girl is uncomfortable... so i wun be calling her after all... Come to think of it, its obvious why she dun wanna recieve my call... but i shall not continue any further...

For the first time after so long, there is "hahaha" coming from his smses... Hahaha!!

I'm FREE to date!

Romantic Princess

Just finished watching a taiwan drama, Romantic Princess... I spent only 2 days watching the whole series as its onli 13 episodes long...

The show started out funny, but as the show dragged on, the plot seemed to be very predictable... And it doesn't seem to be as romantic as i tote it would be... The ending is very stupid... i was hoping for like a "3 years later" part where i can see the development from there... But no! it ended at the airport with the 2 main characters kissing... Its not even the "hot and steamy" type of kiss... More like a peck peck peck type of kiss...

Anyway, its a little disappointing, but i still enjoyed the hilarious parts...

Time to stop watching shows and get down to work!!!

Kinship 2 手足II

Watching the latest few episode, the problem between yusheng and dinosaur, i got reminded of what happened to me. Thinking back, i should have agreed to walk away when he first mentioned there was a problem between us... I should have been brave like yusheng to accept the fact... Maybe things will be better now...

Too late... Its too late...

ICG Netball~!

We advanced to the top 8~! Our class played SUPER well lah~! All the swift and accurate passes, fantastic shooting by zijian and evon, all out defense from shy and alvin, fast and supportive center and wings, amanda, eileen and sheryl~! We are a fantastic team and i believe we will advance to the semis tml~!

KEEP IT UP GUYS and GALS~!

I broke my NO SUPPER rule today~! Had cheese and mushroom prata and a milo dinosaur~! WAh Super fattening lorz~! Nvm, i tink i worked hard enough to indulge in today's supper~! I'll jog it off~! Soon~ Haha!

Update: We are placed 3rd~! Good job guys~! We played well today! Haha!!

JIAYOU JIAYOU~!

So its monday again~

Jus few hours ago, my uncle brought us to a place in bukit batok to eat dinner~ the food there is fantastic lah! We had steamed garoupa, cereal prawns, prawn paste chicken, kangkong and minced pork with salted eggs... Its very nice... The seafood are super fresh and its not too ex... The meal cost about 90 bucks for 7 ppl~

Now i'm back in hall~ Somehow, i'm quite happy to be here... At least i know that i have a place to stay~ For this semester at least~ I'm slowly adapting to my life without him as my bf... without him as my life... Sooner or later, i'll be able to push him out of my life as a bf, an ex, totally....

I better slp liao~ tml still got school~!

To forget is a long and tiring process.

Friday~

Its friday again~ its been almost 2 weeks since i stayed in hall~ Slowly getting used to the lifestyle here... I can feel that my overal physical activity has increased, thanks to all my jogging kakis... Its also thanks to all my online msn friends that keep chatting with me even after midnight~ (you know who you are~! haha~)

I feel that i have been blessed with wat i have now, and i'm not going to lose them this time... But there is just 1 thing that i need to do... That is to reaffirm if i should wait for him still... or not... When the time is right, i'll do what i have to do, once and for all~ This would be the deciding factor...

Will you avoid me again?

Hall of Fame?

Somehow, my name is still on NYP website~ Haha!!
Here's the link~ http://www.nyp.edu.sg/sidm/sidm_showcaseGA.html

This is a project we worked on during our school days~ But the thumbnail provided is quite pathetic~ They should just host the actual game!

Toyz
Category:
Flash Game
Award:
Noise Singapore Showcase
Description:
This is a PC Flash game created over a period of 3 weeks. This is a strategy turn base game where the players take turn controlling their army toys to outwit each other. Mix and match your own army with the remains that’s left behind during the battle to turn the tide around
DONE BY:
Loh Jin Tian Alvin, Lee Mei Feng Rosenna, Lim Mingsen Benson, Nicholas Seah Cheng Hong, Nur Hayati, Si Cheong Meng Sammi Adrian,Tan Jun Jie Gavin

I'm Famous!

Simple Photoshop~

We were told to submit a class photo for the annual school magazine~ So all of us wore our class t-shirt yesterday and chose a perfect spot for our photos. We wanted to be creative, but the security refused to let us step on the grass... So we had to take the usual boring class photo in the end~

After that, someone suggested taking some fun shots of our backs so that it can be composited into the boring photos~ and one thing leads to another... we ended up taking fun shots of our front too~! And we rushed to class~!

After class, some of them went to play table tennis, but i decided to go back to hall to work on the photo instead~! Its something that i really enjoy doing~ Haha! After about 6 to 7 hours... This is what i had~

Well, its not my best work, but i feel its quite well done already~ Considering that i haven touched photoshop for quite a while~ Haha!!

Photoshop RuleZ~!

Simple Life..

1. Wake up, Wash up.
2. Breakfast.
3. School, Lessons.
4. Hip Hop Course.
5. Anime.
6. Short Short Nap.
7. Subway.
8. Window Shopping.
9. Games at the Arcade.
10. Anime.
11. Jogging around Campus.
12. Study a little.
13. MSN.
14. Facebook.
15. Anime.
16. Sleep.

How nice huh?

Back in Hall~

Wah~ i brought so many things back to hall~ Food and stuffs~ haha!! Shiok man~ I tink i'm going to grow fat here... Hee~ Noodles, Bread, Ham, Chocolate Milk, Jam, Jelly~ So many things!!!! Woo Hoo~

I brought my inline skates and hockey gear, so i tink i'll start inline hockey again soon~ but i'll take it real slow~ becoz i can't afford to injure myself, especially this semester~ Thanks to a silly module that will deduct marks if i can't take the test due to injury~ So stupid~

Brought quite a few stuffs to decorate the pin board... I'll do doing a banner soon which says "FORGET HIM" and point it to his picture~

Tink i'm starting to get used to hall life ba~ Jus treat it like chalet lo~ I'm onli lacking of TV... Will be missing american idol lor~ So SAD~

TV TV TV~ ANTENNA~!

He didn't come back~

Yupz~ He didn't come back yesterday nite again~ Its either he really had a good time staying at whoever's house, or he is trying his best to avoid me~

Well, he does not need to worry anymore... Adrian's parents cleared the storeroom to make space for me, so that i dun haf to share a room with adrian... This means he can come back to his own house... Is it really that awkward? Its not like i'm going to seduce him or wat... I already gave up the notion of getting back together again... I will not stand in his way to wat he thinks is his happiness~

Anyway, when i'm back this coming friday, i'll hide in the new room when he comes back and comes out only after he left the place for work next morning~ He will not see me at all~ So to him, i dun exist, and to me, he dun exist...

I'm very thankful for what his parents are doing for me and i appreciate it alot~ I will surely repay the debt once i'm in the position to do so. Once i graduate, i'll definately give them some allowance... This is the least i can do~

One step at a time~

Wonder if he is a Coward...

I already decided not to slp in the same bed liao~ i'm even slping on the beach chair... But i woke up at 6plus to find his bed still empty~ Apparantly he went to his neighbour's house to stay over... When i tink about it, there can be onli 3 reasons...

1. He wans to play games loudly and enjoy the company of a friend...
2. He lied and went over to that girl's house instead...
3. He really stayed over at his neighbour's house but its becoz he doesn't want to face me...

To find out if it is number 2, its very simple actually... Jus check his phone messages... If their is no messages or phonecalls to and from that girl, it would mean that they were together last nite... Although that is wat i suspect it to be, i will not do anything to find out... He is no longer my bf, whatever he does now is really none of my business...

Wakarimasen!

Drama can be a Hope (Part 2)

It seems the shows that i watch are reflecting wat i'm going thru and how i feel...

Our local drama Kinship 2 手足II is also one of them... About episode 18, which was aired on 9th Jan, Wednesday, basically showed Jin Sha finally caught Nai Fa and Daisy~ Jin Sha went on a rampage, and cried alot... Meiqi mama consoled her and talked some sense into her, and i'm going to use what she said on myself~

"I didn't want to let him go either, becoz we led such happy life together, couldn't bear to let go. I'm working on leading a single life now. You can do it to!"

"If a man has had a change of heart, its no use keeping him by your side either. Learn to let go or you will be the one suffering in the end..."

I can do it too!

Back~

Lugging my heavy bags, returning after being away for almost a week, i was draggin my feet as i walked from the bus stop to the door step... Its not the weight of the bag that was slowing me down... It was my emotions... I wasn't feeling as comfortable as i tote i would be~ But when i'm back, i was alright. I washed my clothes, unpacked my bags, prepared some stuffs which i wan to bring back to hall this sunday~

Looking at the food cooked by adrian's mom, smelling the flavour, tasting them, made me realise how much i missed home cooked food~ Although i'm getting used to hall food and hall life, home is still the best...

Except, this may very well not be my home... I know what i must do later and i shall do it well... I shall not be bothered by his existence and carry on with my life... To adrian, this must be acknowledged as a temporary refuge for me... But as long as i know its not, its fine...

I do not dare to touch his bed, fearing that the feelings will float back to me and trigger my tears... So i believe i shall sleep on his beach chair today... I must be strong!

Give Me Strength~

Pri Sch Gathering...

True Blue 6B Gathering... Haha! Today onli 8 ppl turned up for this "farewell" gathering for Meng. He is leaving for Shanghai on monday for a 1 year work and study experience i tink~ Ate at NYDC and came back by cab... 21 bucks! Lucky 3 ppl share~ Haha!!

As for school? Its starting to get busier, but i'm still slacking~ Coz i believe i will not be able to get in the groove for another few weeks ba~ The courses are quite dry, but i'm blessed with interesting teachers for my general modules... But for PE modules, we are taught by koreans! Luckily one of the 3 teachers can speak good english, if not i tink we are really DEAD...

Adrian's mom didn't call me today... I wonder why... Althou i noe she said before that if it doesn't go back to how it was, i can be her god daughter... But i have this feeling that she will slowly get use to me not being around... And probably she will forget bout wat she said after a few months... I can only hope for the best...

She ask me not to give up... But i want to... If he can do it to me once, he surely can do it to me again... I'm not so sure if i want him as my husband anymore... I still love him... But i'm not sure if i can hold up... I need to let go in order to carry on with my life... But adrian's mom doesn't want me to let go~ So how liddat?? I also dunno liao~ Hiaz...

Alright~ Back to my anime~!

OUENDAN!!!

Drama can be a hope~

I was watching 櫻野3加1, a taiwan drama... I like the characters so i decided to start on this drama... Not that i read anything about it prior to watching the show...

Anyway, at about episode 13 onwards, the story development between Yang Jia Jiang and Xia Tian is quite similar to mine... As in Yang Jia Jiang demanded a break up while Xia Tian knows that she loves him too much to give up and that his actions is due to some other reasons, and not becoz he didn't love her...

The camping trip in episode 15 is also very similar... I asked adrian the same thing as Xia Tian did... She asked Yang Jia Jiang if he can pretend that they are still a couple... pretend that he still loves her... jus keep hugging like that, at least till the rain stopped... The only difference is Yang Jia Jiang really still loves Xia Tian... Its circumstances that drove them apart... But for me, Adrian doesn't love me anymore... Even if he agreed, it would be out of habit and maybe even pity... Hiaz...

I was so so so hoping that the characters are me and adrian... becoz as the story advanced, they finally got back together... Hiaz... You have to watch the show to know what i mean~

Anyway, here's the link to the show if u guys are interested...
http://www.ttv.com.tw/drama/2007/InYa/index.htm (Chinese Text)

Can't seem to shite~

1st day in school~

Today is the first day in school~ Started off quite slowly...
Adrian's parents sent me to school with some of my barang barang... Adrian's mom was so sentimental about me staying in school~ She called me to talk a little after my lesson~ Hee~

Anyway, i met mich and went to school earlier for lunch and to meet hakim... Then went for maths lecture... It must be the most boring lesson in my whole life in school man~ Anyway, after that was fitness and conditioning which i was damn shocked by the marks breakdown... 40% on serious fitness lor~ like 2.4, pacer test, strength and flexibility~! I'm dead for this module liao lor~ Next was tennis which we didn't exactly play tennis... Spent the whole 1 hour going thru module outline... But we did play on our own after dat~ Quite fun~

Hall life starts from here on... Tabao dinner den go hall eat... After eating, slack around and unpack my stuffs... Den at 11.15pm, we went jogging!! Did some push ups and sit ups and finally help nuriah move fridge for some reason~

After dat we still went for supper which i only had ice lemon tea! I'm dieting remember? And we did a little shopping at a 24hour supermarket~ Den come back to hall... Bathe, Wash Clothes and wait for the washing machine to be done with our clothes... By the time i'm here bloggin is already 3.30am!! Best part? I still can't slp~ Maybe i'm not used to this environment ba~

So i'm going to watch 1 episode of Ying Ye 2 Jia 1, den i'm going to slp le~ Hahaa!! Tml's Lesson starts at 12.30, and that would give me about 6 to 7 hours of slp... Enough lah~ Hahah!!

As for adrian? I like no time to think of him also~ Maybe 6 times for the whole day? But thats good rite? Its a good beginning ba~ Maybe i'll learn to forget soon~!

Hall Life~ Happening...

Its Kinda Unfair...

Come to think of it... I stupidly dressed him up... Make him look nice and young.... More Fashionable... No more Cargo Pants and Baggy T-Shirt... Now, he wears Jeans and Long sleeves t-shirt... First time he gel up his hair was done by me too... I feel kinda stupid now...

No wonder my aunty said that he will attract alot of attention now... And asked to dress up too... But you know what i told her? No nid lah~ Adrian likes me like that... BUT... Obviously not...

I asked him today... If next time u got gf and all, den not convenient for me to share his room, i'll rent the other room... He said "Won't that be wierd?" I jus said... "No what... We are frens rite?" Feels like i'm lying to myself... I dunno what to think now... Think i told him a little too early... But... Well... Whats done is done...

Will be going school soon... Once i'm there it will be 5 days before i'll be back in this place... Wonder what will it be like den... Wonder if he will miss me and all... Wonder how much have they advanced in their so called relationship...

I told myself not to think... Its now a platonic friendship... He is not my bf anymore... BUT i can't seem to let go... I told my good friends that i'm alright but i'm not... I watched him prepare his stuffs for work, changed, put on his gel, wear his shoe, a simple "bye" and he's out of the house. And i miss him already... And i tink i'll miss him more...

Will i learn to forget?

Hall 4, My new home!

Today just moved my stuffs into hall... First impression was... How come not like hall 6? I'm going to be staying in hall 4... The place is a little old and location VERY FAR from my school~ But HECK~ Its my place now! I'll try to spruce it up together with my other 3 room mates!

Time to pack, sleep and wake up tml to go school~! Nitez...

Hall Life...

Mother's Grief...

Just broke the news about me moving to hall to adrian's parents... Although it was for a valid reason, but adrian's mom knew there was another reason for moving into hall...

she asked me suddenly if there was any problem... i tried to lie to her that nothing is wrong... but i really couldn't... so i told her the truth... about what happened... I was okay initially but when i saw the tears in her eyes, i couldn't take it... i broke down too...

She is quite understanding actually... Except i can tell that she really loves me and couldn't bear for me to leave... She said if can't be her daughter-in-law, can also be her god-daughter also...

i told her about maybe renting a room from her if me and adrian really no hope next time... She say its okay... dunno about adrian's dad thou...

Anyway, it has come to a point where i'm really attached to the family liao... Cannot be bf, also can be brother. i'm sure adrian is ok with that... Maybe he will be more then happy? I dunno... Maybe our last life are entwined in such a way that this life we have to be together somehow... Sounds like a taiwan drama... Haha~ But thanks to her, i have something to look forward to... Maybe i'll have the family that i have always wanted... Who noes? Its too early to tell...

Now i can only concentrate on my studies and get my first class honors...

Walk One Step, Look One Step...

Its Official...

Confronted Adrian last nite... Or rather this morning... Talked and Cried, Cried and Talked... But one thing is clear... Adrian no longer have feelings for me... According to him, his feelings for me died even before they started going together... We finally decided that we can only be friends... Nothing more... So we officially broke up today, 6th Jan 2008... 5 Years, 9 Months, 26 Days...

I'm still staying at his place for now... Finding a place to stay first... Once that is found, we'll then let adrian's parents know... And i'll then move out... I guess i'll let my uncle and aunty know and see what they say... Since i'm staying hall for this sem, i hope my uncle allow me to put my stuffs at his place... Then i'll stay in hall 24/7...

Today we will be platonic friends... I guess when there is no emotional attachment, he is less stressful, and so he will treat me nicer... He actually hugged, kissed and asked me if i'll be here tonight... I said yeah~

He asked if i can be happy for him IF they actually got together... I said i'll try... But i know that i will be happy for him... Becoz when u truely love someone, all you wan is for the person to be happy... And since he can't be happy with me, i have no choice but to give him up...

Peili is still together with her bf... And i think i may jus go and talk to her one day if she is still undecisive... She has to make her choice man... It is unfair for both guys...

I may seem like a brave and strong gal... But deep down inside, I'm hurting badly... Really Badly... So much that i really feel like dying... End the misery once and for all... But i dun have the courage to do such a thing.

Adrian, if u are reading this, i wan u to know that my love for you has grown since that wierd proposal to be your gf... To a point that it is painful to let you go... I still love you even now and i'm not sure if i will ever be able to love someone else as much as i love you... You are one lucky guy to have such a nice family... Treasure them always and take care of them... I wish i had the chance to repay your family for all that they have done for me... I'm sure the chance will come one way or another... But for now, i wish u guys all the best. Love you all~

Walk One Step, Look One Step...

Third Party...

Apparantly there is really a third party... Her name is Peili... If i'm not wrong, she is a single mom, girlfriend of adrian's colleague... I think they jus broke up...

Adrian is a third party to their relationship... And this Peili is the third party of mine... Remember what i said not long ago? That sales person is destined to be with sales person? I think this jus came true...

The whole world knows it except me... Seriously... Why can't they warn me? Are they happy to see me in misery? To them, i'm already considered as an ex of adrian... This is seriously stupid... Me, hoping that we will be ok after moving into hall...

How am i not better then her? What am i lacking? I dunno... I wonder how long has this been going on... Actually i dun wanna know...

I'm moving into hall on monday.. And i jus asked him if i can come back on weekends... I must have sounded so damn desperate... He muz be laughing at me inside...

I think he didn't tell me even until now becoz he is putting me as spare tire... Someone that he can fall back to in case their relationship doesn't work out... Now, he agreed for me to come back during the weekdays may be becoz he pities me...

I really dunno what to do now... I wan to confront him... Yet i dun wan him to noe that i noe... What should i do?

Confused...

Holiday Aftermath

Okay. I went Penang with Jeremy and Eileen for 3 days 3 nites, inclusive of travelling time... Had an enjoyable time there, the local food was fantastic, but the fastfood was below standard...

Was about to blog all about the trip but i don't have the mood to do so now... Why? Becoz i happened to discover 2 ticket stubs to the show Vexille at the PictureHouse... I was initially shocked... Why did adrian have 2 ticket stubs to an anime movie? So i called him...

Me: You went to watch a movie at PictureHouse ar?
A: Ya

Me: With Who?
A: Er.... (Some name that i didn't want to remember)

Me: Who's that?
A: Andy's gf (His colleague is Andy)

Me: With her? Alone?
A: Yeah...

Me: Okay Bye. (Hang Up)

He called me back about 15min later to explain... His Story:

"There is nothing going on... Nothing between the two of us... I needed to buy a new phone and headphone becoz mine's spoiled already... So i asked her to go with me... Thats my only off day and i need that phone urgently... You are not around wat... Anyway, The show is I want to watch one... It's an anime show... I'm calling to tell you don't think of stupid things... There is nothing between us..."

Thats the gist of the whole conversation... Obviously i said alot of things in between but well... He made it look like its my fault since i'm not around... So its my fault for going away since i thought he needed his space... Imagine a short 3 day trip and this happened... Whats going to happen when i'm staying in hall 5 days a week? I have about 2-3 more days before moving into hall...

I really dunno what to expect out of this so called relationship... Again, i'm thankful that he is honest...

When a man says, "There is nothing going on." Can i believe that?

Christmas Over, New Year Arriving...

Christmas went on quite alright~ My aunty invited her family members to the house for a short christmas dinner celebration... Lots of food~ But other then food, it was kinda boring... All the adults talking, all the children playing... Nobody thats in between that i could relate to... So for most of the time, my sis, andy and me simply hid ourselves in hilary's room till the guest left... Coming out to mingle a little from time to time... Of course, the day ended with mahjong again...

Yesterday we went to aunty's place for mahjong again and i lost almost 10 bucks man~ Stayed over at her place and went out shopping with my sis and andy today~ Plus movie~ We shopped for some clothes, bikinis and watched National Treasure~ It's good~ Really good~ Loved the puzzles and riddles in the show~ My sis fussed with my attire so much that i almost gave up the thought of going to town... Why muz we dress up to go town? My sis insisted that we should look presentable~ So in the end, i wore a tank top with jeans overalls...

I have been staying out most of the days and nites... but adrian didn't call or msg to find out where am i... Either his parents told him i wasn't coming back, or he jus doesn't bother... I'm not going to try to find out... Today my sis asked me... "Do you see yourselves being together in the future?" I couldn't answer, becoz i really dunno... She jus commented that he is not right for me... I was thinking... Since he is a salesperson, does it mean that he has to have a salesperson to be his gf? And since i'm a teacher, does it mean that i should have a teacher to be my bf? It shouldn't be like that...

Okay, i shall not think too much... Time to watch my shows and slack a little more before i move into hall...

Pointless perserverence...

Such an Unlucky Christmas Eve~

Day started out fine... Prepared my exchange gift and went to buy the eye hook from a shop nearby... All i was supposed to spend was 80 cents for the hooks, but guess wat, i was hungry and greedy when i saw kuay chap~ So i ordered and paid another $3.40 and drinks for $1.20. So much for onli spending 80 cents. Haha~ Anyway, i settled down and ate happily when i was suddenly harrassed by a bee. It kept buzzing around my green tea, food and me. I didn't dare to swipe it away becoz of the sting! So irritating... Best, something suddenly dropped on my finger and i was SHOCKED~! i threw my chopsticks away~ I tote i was attacked by the bee!! When i took a good look, it was BIRD SHIT~ How nice... Anyway, i resigned to my fate and went back home after washing my hands. As i was bout 1 block away, it started raining... Hiaz... wat an afternoon...

After that, i decided to go to the wake first, before going to my aunty's place. In bus 74, i was trying to organise the paintball session, sending and replying sms with 2 phones while trying to look out for the stop to alight. When i'm reaching that stop, i put my main phone into my bag and waited for the bus to stop while smsing with the other phone. That was when it happened. I believed my phone was pickpocketed then. I got off the bus, went to the wake and started to look for my phone frantically. I called my phone many times, but it was switched off. I realised that its gone~ FOR GOOD... Hiaz...

I started making calls, arranging for the pickup of my sim card and all. And to cut the long story short, my line is under my aunty's name and she have to be present to collect the sim card. If not, i'll need an authorization letter and a copy of her NRIC... I called 1626 up and asked if any exception can be done for my case, they put me on hold, (wasted my battery) and spoke to their supervisor. They told me that maybe i dun have to present the letter, but i'll still need the copy of her NRIC... Can you see the irony? If i can get the NRIC, obviously i'll be able to get the letter!! So stupid, the ppl there really no brains one.. Might as well tell me straight that 1626 is jus a helpline and can't do exceptions but the ppl at hello singtel can... Save me all the trouble...

Anyway, after making so many calls on the public phone, (my phone died) i went to compasspoint to see if anything can be done. I tried to call first, wasted 60 cents on number 100 but hello singtel dun haf a direct line. Oh, i have to mention this, i travelled there mainly becoz my aunty said that she refused to help me get my sim card becoz she was too busy. Okay, when i'm at the shop, i finally convinced the supervisor to give me my sim card. I called my aunty to tell her to standby when singtel calls her for verification. She told me: "I got your sim card already~ I bluff u one..." I'm like WTF?????

Feeling so agitated and all, i went back to hello singtel to thank them and went to my aunty's place.. All this was done while doing last min shopping... For presents...

I bought everyone presents and i only got back 2. An exchange gift, and a muffin made by my sis... While i spent so much time and effort, choosing the right gift for everyone... Arrgh~ But Christmas is the joy of giving... So i gave...

Merry Christmas and A Happy New Year!

2 weeks left...

2 weeks left to school reopening... But his attitude towards me is getting colder and colder day by day... He promised to put in effort to make me feel loved, make me feel like i'm his one and only, make me feel like he appreciates me... He promised to do all that until we move into the "cooling off" period... But no... He didn't even hold my hand today when his father send him to work... He used to hold my hands when walking to the van, a little kiss before hopping off the van... Now he dun even look at me... When he said bye, he simply said "BYE"... No "dear"...

Sob Sob...

I heard from his parents that he played with jerome at the wake yesterday... It must have been such a sight... I can imagine him smiling and laughing at jerome, talking about games and all with aaron... But i'm not part of that, becoz i was supporting my sis... I really wanted to see adrian smile naturally for once, not forced by me or something... But i'm not getting that...

It seems like he is hating my existence, but he tells me otherwise... It must be the holiday season that working him too much... All the last minute shopping and unreasonable customers must be the main cause of his stress... I wanted to sms him earlier, but i thought, he must be super busy at the shop now, and by doing that, he may jus hate me even more... i told myself that i must be understanding towards him... But is he being understanding towards me?

Its a super 1 sided love hate relationship... I love him so much, yet i hate him for putting me through this situation... So what if i stay hall? How long will he need to sort things out? 1 month? 3 months? 6 months? or a year? What if he never did sort things out? Should i wait? Should i give up? So many questions that i really can't answer now...

I really wish to die and put myself out of this misery, yet i have my sister to think of... It is unfair to her and my family if i die just like that... Plus, i dun have the courage to die... What about getting myself admitted to hospital or something? I can't do that too becoz i will end up making my family spend more money on hospital expenses... What can i do? What should i do?

If we really break up, how am i going to face adrian's family who have treated me as one of their own, who have loved and cared for me so much? More questions that i have been asking myself... I know that this is getting repetitive, but this is what i'm going through every day... Thinking of the same things, over and over again... What can i do? I'm such a loser when it comes to him...

Hiaz... I'm a wreck...

Stomp Kai Contest

Was there earlier, spent the money on the clothes and the hair do (althou it looked the same) and i tink its all worth it. why? becoz i met my ex, zhengnan. Surprisingly he remembered me and my name~ Well, i remembered his too rite? And i was thinking, luckily i didn't look too bad. Well, even if i didn't look too bad, i felt that i wasn't worthy of his attention anyway. Like i said before, i didn't have the confidence that i'll attract men's attraction. So i must have looked like a loser.

Now, why was his view towards me important? becoz i need to know where i'll stand in society if me and adrian really break up in the end. I dun tink i'll have ppl wooing me anytime soon. At least, not until i totally change my hairstyle. Its too boring, too "goody two shoe".

Back to the competition, i feel that it is obviously FIXED... The initial rules was that the participant should NOT have any experience in modelling... But the winner is a model already... Plus, there was 6 other prizes other then the top 3 prizes... And guess wat? They are shared between 4 participants. So what happened to the other 8 participants? Stand there and watch while the 4 sweep up the prizes lo... I mean, these participants put in lots of time, effort and money. why not give all of them some sort of prize? I mean, if they are able to have a makeover, look totally different from before, they should all be winners already! These competition are a cheap way of getting ppl to advertise their products... Imagine, free amateur models (except a few who are "paid" with prizes anyway) to model their products on the pretext of a makeover contest~ Its convenient~

Anyway, the competition is over, and i hope my sis did not take it too hard. Rest well and life goes on yeah? As for me? If we really do break up, i'll probably go cut my hair short and style it up. So if you have a skilled hairdresser to introduce to me, please call me!!! Thanks~

DAMN the Fake Evaluations

Stomp Contest at Fashion Bar

My sis is in the contest and today is the finals... For her "face" i went shopping for clothes and will be cutting my hair later~ What i'll be wearing stunned myself... I couldn't believe it even until now... If i take any pics, i'll post it up... And i tink you'll be shocked too... Although i dunno wats the reason for dressing up at all, who will be there to see it? Well, i tried to get friends to turn up to support... But no one replied to my smses... So its kinda sad...

Just heard from adrian's dad, adrian's uncle or Yvette's dad just passed away. Although i feel sad, i'm feeling a little relieved actually... He was suffering due to cancer and i believe he is better up there den here... My condolences to Yvette and family~ Take care of yourself and i'll see ya soon~

I thought, if i have to die, i would wish for a quick and painless death. I wouldn't wan to suffer like he did and waste all the money on medical help. How to die? Quick and Painless?

Life is so Fragile...

I turned into a Monster...

PERIOD...

Details can't be shared unfortunately... so all i can say is i have become a monster and i'm kinda like hating myself now... Yup...

What is happening to me?

Should I believe him?

Thanks to all my friends who were concerned about me and what happened... I realised that i didn't mention what actually happened... I'm not sure if its a good idea posting it here, but as long as my family and his family doesn't read this, i'm sure its alright...

It happened after coming back from malacca... Me being away muz have been the trigger to it... Most probably, he was comfortable with me not being around... Anyway, i somehow felt that he was getting more and more distant from me... I was watching him play games but as a casual remark, i asked him if he still loves me... He answered "I dunno..." I was stunned at his answer... Usually, he would say "Yes of coz..."

I broke down, cried alot, asked him alot of questions that he couldn't answer... He also broke down, saying that his work was giving him alot of stress, until, his emotions are numb already... That was his reason for saying "I dunno". He asked me to move to my aunty's place during this christmas season... But i didn't want to... Becoz i didn't want my aunty to know the problem that exist between us... We reached a conclusion that I will move to hall when school starts to allow him the space to sort out his feelings...

After that, I broke down so many times that i lost count... Each time thinking of the worst case scenario, that is, both of us... breaking up after an almost 5 year relationship... thru this, i finally realised that i really really really love him... But if thats wat makes him happy, i'll leave...

Since i decided that i can leave only after school started, i have now till 7th of jan to make this relationship feel like how it was before... So that i have beautiful memories to live for if we didn't manage to pass the test... He agreed to let me enjoy the last moments together as much as he can give...

Recently, I broke down in his arms again... when we were going to sleep... I didn't want to... I really didn't... I dunno wat happened... Guess i missed the old him too much... He told me while comforting me, that he knows that deep down he still loves me... Its just that this season is wearing him out and he doesn't know what he is feeling... He asked me to give him time to explore for himself... He said that if we were meant to be together, we will be... He said that he still cares alot for me and he is really sorry for putting me thru all of this... All i could do was nod and hold on to him tightly...

Feels like i'm in a drama... Seems so unreal, yet its real... Should i believe him? I really dunno...

What if we were not meant to be?

ISG Ultimate Frisbee~

We won gold for our school~ We defeated the other schools and finals was quite a difficult game to play~ But we won anyway! Me, Rachel, Chris were mentioned in the debrief session after the games. We played and improved quite a lot for beginners~

But a few of us will not be getting the medals as there may not be enough for all of us. But we get to keep the jersey~

Never knew that Ultimate Frisbee can be that fun~ All the strategies and techniques totally blew me away at the start, but i slowly got used to it~

What, Horizontal Stacking, Vertical Stacking, Man-mark, Zone-mark, Cup, Force Home, Force Away, Twinkle... Hahahaa!! It was enjoyable, confusing myself with all these terms... Hee~

Hee~ Should i go for netball ISG??

Air Supply - All out of Love

Suddenly thought of this song... and decided to post it here as it totally reflects my mood now...
Confided in a good friend and apparantly this ending was inevitable... Its just a matter of time... I realised a little too late... I didn't want to admit it and kept on hoping, hangin on... I have until 7th of Jan to try and enjoy my last moments with him... Hopefully he will make it enjoyable for me too...

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Lyrics:
I'm lying alone with my head on the phone
Thinking of you till it hurts
I know you hurt too, but what else can we do?
Tormented and torn apart

I wish I could carry your smile in my heart
For times when my life seems so low
It would make me believe what tomorrow could bring
When today doesn't really know, doesn't really know

I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right, believing for so long
I'm all out of love, what am I without you?
I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong

I want you to come back and carry me home
Away from these long lonely nights
I'm reaching for you, are you feeling it too?
Does the feeling seem oh so right?

What would you say, if I called on you now
Saying that I can't hold on
There's no easy way, it gets harder each day
Please love me or I'll be gone... I'll be gone

I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right, believing for so long
I'm all out of love, what am I without you?
I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong

What are you thinking of?
What are you thinking of?
What are you thinking of?
What are you thinking of?

I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right believing for so long
I'm all out of love, what am I without you?
I can’t be too late, I know I was so wrong

I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right believing for so long
I'm all out of love, what am I without you?
I can't be too late, I know I was so wrong

I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right, believing for so long
I'm all out of love, what am I without you
I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong

I Still Love you...

Wakeboarding~!

Went Punggol Marina to wakeboard together with 2 other poly friends... The weather was good until about halfway when it started raining a little~ But the rain came and gone quite quickly, so lucky for us!

Today's session was great~! I managed to stand on my 2nd attempt~! I feel that the control of the boat's speed could be alot better, but it was good enough~ I managed to cut the waves, but crashed almost immediately once i'm out... It was fun!

I'll post the photos and videos soon~! Check back soon~ Haha!

Wakeboarding in Jan again!

ISG Ultimate Frisbee

Yesterday was my first training with the team... The atmosphere was quite serious and the training was quite tough...

But today's games were not bad... We played 2 games and the score difference were more then 6! Although i'm very new in this game, i still get to play! Which is good~ But... I keep dropping the disc... Butter fingers... Somehow i just couldn't catch the frisbee! Arrgh~

Monday is the semis and finals... Hopefully we can win a gold for our school!!

Ultimate game for the Ultimate Players!

Feel Like Shit...

Woke up crying... Miss someone very badly... So near yet so far...

Choking... Tearing... Coughing... Dying...

Eileen! I'm bunking into your hall for the whole sem le. Have no choice liao.

How does Shit really feel?

We Won!

We achieved our goal today at the basketball finals~!

We fought hard and was awarded with 1st place! We won! and most importantly, we enjoyed ourself. Great job peeps!!

Rest and Relax!!

2 POINTS!!

Vanessa asked me to go play for ISG Basketball as they have not enough ppl... So i did... Found out on the way there that it was Rachel that suggested to get me to play~ Haha! Evil~

We started playing Zone defence. I didn't play well at all, mainly becoz i'm really not very good at basketball~ But when they started playing 3 point man-mark, i tink i played alot better. Becoz i'm quite used to man-mark. Only thing is i'm not as agile and strong as before, so there's some disadvantages there. So all i could do was pressure the controller.

At the last few minutes, i received the ball and i was open! Suddenly i heard meifen shouting "SHOOT" and i did. I scored!! I couldn't believe it but i did!!!! Heee~ I was so happy that i literally jumped for joy! I must have looked stupid and surprised! But i dun care~! I scored and thats all that mattered then! Heeee~

We won the game and advanced to the finals... After basketball, we stayed and played for captains ball and we advanced and won the finals too!! First gold for me, even thou i onli played 1 half~ Hee~

What a day~ tml basketball finals~! (Later actually, at 11.30am)

GO GO GO!!

I'm Back from Malacca!

Yeap, Back!

The history of Malacca is considered to be quite confusing! It was governed by Portugal and Britain before and the "ownership" of the city was passed, exchanged and finally returned to Malaysia, then Malaya. The place is greatly influenced by the western and chinese culture, with many churches and temples everywhere.

On day 1, we reached Malacca at about 7pm, checked in and went for dinner! Ate at Kenny Rogers and did a little shopping. Went back to the hotel after that to chill and rest for a supposedly long day for day 2.

On day 2, we woke up early for the breakfast buffet that was so great and hurried to the buses for a city tour. Visited several tourist attractions, mainly historical sites, and had their famous durian chendol~ From 9am to 12pm, we were moving from place to place and ended with lunch at Ole Sayang. The lunch there was very good 10 years ago, according to my uncle. Now, its not so great, didn't enjoy my lunch at all. After lunch, we went back to the hotel, rest a little and its shopping time. And obviously i spent most of my money on stuffs for adrian and his family and my sis~
At bout 6pm, its time for my uncle's company dinner. The MC is hilariously, irritatingly stupid lah! Quite gay and mad! But he managed to entertain the majority of the crowd. As a tradition of the company, every staff will go home with a prize ranging from $200 cash voucher to 26 inch LCD tv with $600 cash voucher. Well, everyone except my uncle. So the lucky draw session is exceptionally boring for me. But the food was fantastic! Its really good lah~
After the whole dinner thingy, we went to the nite bazaar or the pasar malam. The journey to the place should be very easy and fast but we ended up getting lost and took a long time becoz the road we were supposed to take had a temporary lights out. And since it was very dark and scary, we didn't take that road! Hahahaa!! Nothing that interest me at that place too~

On day 3, we skipped the buffet breakfast and woke up onli at bout 10am~ checked out of the hotel and went for lunch and more shopping! Again, i didn't buy anything for myself~ Hahaha!! Travelled all the way back to Singapore and experienced 3 different car accidents on the same stretch of highway, within minutes of each other... Wow~

The hotel we stayed is the best in Malacca. Hotel Equatorial... The whole event cost the company about 53k~ The prizes should be included in that amount ba~

Phew... After blogging for so much, i'm finally tired~ Hahaha!!

What a holiday~

Malacca

I'll be away for a short trip to malacca from 7th to the 9th of December...
But i'm still reachable on my handphone if neccessary~!

Happy Holidays!!

Holidays Finally Started!

Yeah~ After my last paper, i had a few more official stuffs to complete before i can really start slacking~ My last paper was quite alright, didn't have the time to complete the paper thou... The next day, there is a netball orientation test... Its basically testing the rulez of netball... I manage to score 90%~ Hee! And the last thing is the basketball ncap level 1 technical certification... I had to teach a skill in 10 min, and if i pass, i'll be able to coach basketball~

So finally, all that's done... now comes the fun part! Time to slack! Quite a few activities lined up...

Rollerblading, Wakeboarding, Paintball, Beach Volleyball, Badminton, Makan Sessions, Short Holiday in Msia, Mobtv, Crunchyroll and most importantly... SLEEP!

Woohoo... Wat a holiday...