Finally Accepted the Truth...

Went to Reuben's wake today... Finally accepted that he is in God's arms...

Its the first time for me, attending a christian wake. But the only thing different was the service during the funeral. It is actually quite comforting to hear the family and friends, giving speeches about him and telling us how much they love him and all. Singing songs to embrace their loneliness and sadness. Accepting the truth together as a group.

Although i'm still feeling very sad, but hearing from his family that they found strength from friends, family and their belief, i have decided to bid farewell to my good friend...

Good bye my friend

No excuses...

My last paper is in 5.5 hours time... And i'm still unprepared... I tink i'm onli like 40% done?

Truthfully, the dragonboat incident has affected me so much that i can't seem to put anything into my head... But it will not be an excuse...

Its my fault that i didn't study since thursday... I finally picked myself up to study yesterday night... but nothing went in... I'm jus so unmotivated to study... Keep thinking that life was so unfair and all... Whenever i heard updates about the incident on the news, i would feel so sad all over again... It was only until Monday morning when i started studying...

But its too late... There is just too much info to squeeze in one day... And i'm on the verge of giving up already... I can only hope that luck will bless me for my test later and hopefully i can get at least a B- or B for my overall grade...

Oh... Reuben's Wake will be from today till thursday afternoon... Yeah...

No excuses... Take it as a Lesson Learnt...

Bodies Recovered...

http://www.straitstimes.com/Free/Story/STIStory_180490.html

Reuben was supposed to return home on Monday... And he will be, tonight... Only not the way we expected him to... My deepest condolences to his family... I hope his wake is open to his poly friends, so we can go visit him for the last time...

When i first heard the news, my first reaction was... "SHIT i have 3 friends in that team... Hope they are alright..." On Sat evening, when they reported the news, i saw Chin Hwei on one of the photos... So i'm glad he is alright... But that nite, Adrian came home and told me that reuben was one of the 5 missing... Immediately i texted every christian i know to help pray for him to return safely... But our prayers were not answered... It was too late... Their bodies were found yesterday morning...

Such a talent, worked so hard for himself and his team... One who loved water... Yet he had to depart this world like that... Drowned... *Feeling Sick*

I'm thinking... If i were to leave the world... Will i be remembered like how he is?
http://www.youtube.com/profile_comment_all?user=ReubenKee&page=1
http://www.facebook.com/wall.php?id=661866006

May you find peace wherever u are~

Love, Rosenna...

Life is So Unfair...

Reuben was my classmate from Nanyang Polytechnic 2001 Intake... We studied together in Digitial Media Design... and Specialized in Games Design... He was a fun person to be with... Very talented in music and simply love Mugen... He was in NYP's dragon boat team already then...

I remember working with him in a project that never got completed... A few of us came together to conceptualize a versus fighting game... We sketched our characters, modelled, textured and finally rendered out to put into the game engine... We saw our characters move, jump and even fight a little... But we didn't finish the whole game in the end...

Remember once, me and adrian went to his place, to play games i think... He played some arrangements of game music for us to hear while we are there... I'm learning piano because of him... I felt so inspired by him, picking up piano on his own and playing so beautifully...

He was such a freak when it came to body building... He had all the formula mixes to help him build muscles and all... And his body? Fantastic of course... He was crowned Mr Singapore in 2006!

But all of that's gone... And i still can't believe its gone... Reuben, you have been a great friend and i'm thankful that i met you. It's and honour to be your friend. I'll always remember you...

Reuben, May you rest in Peace.


I couldn't find any pictures so i had to use some from his facebook...

Here are some links about him.
http://reubenkee.com/ (Reuben's Website)
http://www.youtube.com/user/ReubenKee (Reuben's Videos)
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=661866006 (Reuben's FaceBook)

What happened to him made me realised how lucky I am despite all the problems i am facing... I realised that life is very short... Please enjoy your life to the fullest... Tell everyone that you love them... Treasure their existence and appreciate them... Before its too late...

Life is so unpredictable...

2 Down... 1 More to Go...

Yesterday's Exam wasn't that bad after all...

It must be all the good luck that everyone's been wishing me... What i studied for psychology came out... Exactly... So i think that section shldn't be that bad... As for Motor Learning? I'm more worried about that... I was quite sure i studied enough for the exam... But it was the language that killed me i think~ I didn't noe what the questions were asking for... So... Anyhow Bomb and Smoke through lor~

Anyway, its over already, now hafta start on the last exam... Its on tuesday... Not enough time too coz tml i'll be at Netball Association from 8 to 3... So half day gone liao~

JIAYOU~!

I GIVE UP!

For the first time in my life as a student, I gave up studying for an exam...

I realised that i started too late, thanks to slacking... And there was simply too much information to cramp in so little time...

Although i think i read through that i should not have negative thoughts, i feel that i should vent my anger 3 hours prior to my exam paper.

I'm quite stressed, thanks to the uncertainty of the format of the exam paper. Is it 2 to 3 compulsory questions? Or 3 choose 2? It makes a big difference as the latter would mean i can try and spot topics to study for. But no... I have no clue what to expect...

Anyway, I gave up studying already... I know means I know... Don't know means don't know... Dun wan to destroy more brain cells already... I just going to declare that i only studied 3 out of the 6 chapters required to study... So if the questions are compulsory, i'll lose 50% of Section B just like that...

As for Section A, I can say that i only studied 60 -70%... So I can only cross my fingers and hope for a B grade... If i can't get it, i'll survive with a C... then blame myself for the rest of my life... Then i'll be proud of the C becoz it will be my first ever in NIE so far... In fact, i tink it will be my only C in my major exam grades...

What a way to break my record huh... Well, serves me right... I'm just going to take a quick nap now and hope that i can still remember some stuffs when i wake up...

"C" (see) Lah! Never Study early...

Game Plan and Beowulf~

Finished the Maths paper today... Surprisingly, it was too difficult... But as usual, its my careless mistakes that killed me probably... Question asked for "no. of books sold each day" and i answered "total number of books sold = ..." So sad lor~ Then i think too much and becoz of that, i'll be losing some marks too~ But nvm, 1 down and 2 more to go...

After the paper, i stayed back in school, did a little studying for my 2nd paper... Little as in like half a chapter... Hahahaa!! Played Lumines 2 most of the time... But once Eileen is done with her paper, we met up and head down to AMK hub where we watched Gameplan~ We bought so much snacks that we couldn't eat dinner after the show becoz we were too full~! After some dessert, we played the basketball shooting game... First time hit 4 stage and scored 340 points... Joint effort of coz~ What we learnt in Basketball module did help~ BEEF~!~!

After Eileen left, i searched for a place to study but couldn't find one... So i settled down at the interchange and played Lumines instead... Waited for about 2 hours before i met adrian to watch Beowulf at 12am... After which we had supper at Mac, or rather adrian and his colleagues had supper... Coz i refused to eat~ Dieting~ Hahaa!

Gameplan was hilarious and lighthearted, good show to watch especially after a long day... It will simply crack you up~ But beowulf, its quite gory and boring at some points... But its super realistics for an animated movie...

Alright, Time to slp! Tml will be a LOoooonG day~

3 Checkpoints Before the big H!

H for Holidays!!!
But before that, I still have 3 more checkpoints... Number Topics, Motor Learning and Control and Fundamental of Sports Psychology, Measurement and Evaluation..

Maths Exam aka Number Topics... And thats TML~!
Although i would say i'm prepared... But i'm really not certain that i'm prepared enough~ I know the concepts pretty well... The theorems and all... But its my carelessness that i'm worried about~ Even if i have the time to check my work, i'll still overlook my mistakes sometimes... Sometimes the mistakes are VERY SILLY~! I have been doing that during my class test... And i'm losing precious marks for my mistakes... Hopefully i'll have enough time to check my work again and again...

Alrighty~ Better slp now... At least i know that i'll be watching Game Plan to relax a little after the exam!

First Checkpoint... Maths...

Why? Why Smoke?

I can't seem to understand why muz an individual smoke. Whats the reason behind smoking? Don't say its because of Stress... Stress is not an excuse for smoking...

This has been distracting me so much... Adrian smoked before i knew him... But after getting together, he promised me that he will stop smoking... And he did... At least i thought he did... Never would i know that he have been smoking behind my back...

Started with casual smoking.. With friends and all... Getting cigarettes from his friends...
Now? Habitual smoking... Everyday... During work breaks... Buying his own packs...
I DO NOT understand...

I thought i heard his phone ring last night and i wanted to get his phone for him... Guess what? I found cigarettes and lighter in his pocket... I dunno wat came over me but i threw those poisonous yucky stuffs down the rubbish chute... I know that this will not solve any problem... But i'll still throw them away everytime i see them...

When i ask him why he smoke, he would say that its due to stress... EXCUSES!
When i asked him not to smoke... He said he would try... TRY????? Where got try? Even if he did? Maybe he is not trying hard enough! Yes... He has been totally honest about it and I thank him for that... But i dun appreciate him breaking his promises all the time... The trust that i have in him is GONE...

If he can break this promise... What about our wedding vows in the future? Will he break that too? Please understand that whenever he smokes, the smell and the idea of it will trigger whatever nasty feelings i have for my father... He said before that he will never be like my father... But he is not getting the point... THE POINT IS... I REALLY DUN WAN HIM TO SMOKE... REMINDS ME OF MY FATHER... HEALTH RISKS... MONEY... BAD HABITS... I rather he bite his nails or something den to smoke...

I'm even thinking whether i should smoke myself to show him that i'm really affected by this... But i really dunno if this will affect him as much as it would affect me... You guys may think that this is a small issue... But you will never understand how it is affecting me psychologically... Its really draining me...

I have been thinking... Why not just give up my principle and give in? I really wanted to just CLOSE BOTH EYES and give in... But by doing that i would be giving the signal that "It is ok to break your promise..." or "If you perservere enough, i would finally break down, give up and compromise..." Now its smoking... What if one day its adultry? And if he keeps doing that, keep saying "i'll try"... Does it mean i have to give in and compromise?

I really do love him and his family... But because of this issue... I'm even contemplating giving this relationship up... I have faith... But i'm not sure I can't take it with my father keeps popping into my mind whenever i know that he smokes... What should i do??????? HATE THIS... HATE DILEMMAS.....

So tell me.... Any way out????

Two parties in a row~

Yesterday was our class bbq... finally something that is done in a class... only 2 didn't make it out of 15 of us... One down with fever, the other one was out with his gf... It was quite fun! We celebrated our classmates birthday together with the bbq~ And 4 ppl got dunked into the pool~ The best part? None of them were the birthday boys~ hahahaa!!

Today, (aka 10 nov, coz i just came back) was an advance celebration for rachel's birthday~ It was again... FUN! I enjoyed myself there! With faizal being there, of coz there will be alot of singing! So we sang along to the electronic and acoustic guitar, piano and even percussion on the electone... Vanessa was exceptionally good on the "drums" and can play very well together with faizal~ Hee~

Here's a pic from the party~ My eyes are closed as usual.. Haha!

But somehow it had to end with disappointment~ I wanted to like enjoy a little more before i start mugging for my exams... So i wanted to watch the gameplan at amk hub... Althou adrian was quite unwilling, but he agreed.. When i confirmed again, he said he really have alot of things to do... So our plans were cancelled just like that...

Sometimes i really wonder if there was really so many things to do... Or is he just trying to avoid spending time with me... Or is he seeing someone outside? Although i know and trust that he wun do that... But all the late nights, phone calls that sounded like a girl on the other end and all the promises that he was not able to keep... Makes me think otherwise... I was forced to become suspicious but there is nothing i can do... Hiaz...

Anyway, I'm still happy that the two parties happened and i'm glad that i enjoyed myself~ We oughta do more of this~

Happy but Sad... What Irony~

My Ringtone... The Cuppycake Song...

Yupz, Surely u have heard my phone ring... This is the real deal, sang by Amy Castle~ So cute!


And her bloopers~


3 Years Old... So intelligent...

Death Star Canteen

Facebook has the most interesting videos taken from youtube~

Evolution of Dance~

Cool Stuffs!

Baby Jerome Baptism Celebration

Adrian's 2 month old nephew just went thru baptism on yesterday~

I didn't manage to take the photos of the baptism ceremony becoz i was the video camera woman then... So, just some pictures during our makan celebration at swensens after the baptism ceremony.

The pictures can be located at my Photo Album~

Enjoy the photos!

So Cute~!

We live in Singapura~ Various Versions...

Got reminded bout this movie suddenly and decided to share...

den came across this little comedy standup~

Youtube rocks lah~

Wake Up!!! I want FOOD....

Hey Kitty kitty kitty kitty...